Park Slope Votes ‘No’ on BDS Vote
Last night, members of the nation's biggest urban food cooperative voted on whether to hold a referendum on the sale of Israeli goods. Hilarity ensues.
Urban Kvetch: Julian Assange Sympathizers
Save it, guy. We know all about freedom of speech. Besides, we're trying to use our PayPal account.
Urban Kvetch: Opening Credits in Short Films
Opening Credits in Short Films
Listen Scorsese, next time you plan to devote three minutes of your short to an opening title sequence designed by your cousin the "amazing graphic artist," please invite me to y...
Urban Kvetch: Bad Kissers
Bad Kissers
By the time you're a grown-up, you should know what you're doing with your lips and your tongue and your hands and your body when you're kissing someone. And if you're not popular and have had hard...
Urban Kvetch: Airplane Touch Screens
Airplane Touch Screens
Who's the genius that came up with the idea of touch screens on the back of airline seats? On top of the empty stomach I have from not being fed and the anxiety I'm feeling from only car...
Urban Kvetch: Uncle Solly’s Death
Uncle Solly's Death
You know what? Uncle Solly didn't "just know" to expire the Friday before Presidents DAy weekend so that your second cousins from Rancho Palos Verde, California, would be able to make it to...
Urban Kvetch: Scooped-Out Bagels
Scooped-Out Bagels
If God meant for us to scoop out the insides of our bagels, he wouldn't have designed the bagel with a hole in it already. IF you're really concerned that you're going to get fat from eating...
Urban Kvetch: “Untitled”
"Untitled"
Oh, God, if I have to hear another band introduce a song by saying, "This song is called...'Untitled.'" Like words cannot convey the depths of your emotions—they may have been good enough for Wordsw...
Urban Kvetch: Whole Foods Etiquette
Whole Foods Etiquette
You pick up a vegan oatmeal date scone with your bare hands, consider it and then put it back. You turn around and I glare at you, hating you for making me reconsider every scone I've eve...
Urban Kvetch: Manischewitz Jokes
Manischewitz Jokes
Oh, I get it. You're like an inner city thug drinking Manischewitz instead of a 40... Can we all agree to put a moratorium on punch lines involving this syrupy Jew juice? Yes, it's strange t...
Urban Kvetch: Second Ave. Deli
Second Ave. Deli
Please just move to Times Square where you belong. Think about it: All the German and Japanese tourists will be within walking distance, and you can even raise the price of a pastrami sandwich...
Urban Kvetch: Slow ATM Users
Slow ATM Users
What in the name of God is taking you so long? Get out your $20 for half-price margarita night and be on your way. The numbers on the keyboard go in order. And in case that is too complicated, t...
