_Heeb_ Presents:
You Push the Button
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You take a deep breath and push the button, your hand shaking more than you thought it would.
"What the—?" you mutter as the White House garage door opens.
"Gotcha!" Rumsfeld r...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Stand Up to Cheney
Cheney's crooked, maniacal grin shifts ever so slightly into a crooked, maniacal scowl.
"Uh-oh," he says. "Looks like I'm about to have another unfortunate hunting accident."
Ill...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Don't Pardon Abramoff
No matter how tempting the proposition is, you tell Abramoff that you're going to have to pass on the library. Abramoff looks a bit more frail than usual, so you invite him to join you ...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Watch the Game Highlights
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You sit down on the edge of Ginsburg's bed to watch highlights of the football game. Terrell Owens catches a touchdown pass for the Cowboys. You smile. That T.O. is one heck of...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Fire Up the VCR
Illustration by Angela Dominguez
You put in the tape and hit "Play." Bill Clinton is standing in the front yard of the White House throwing a tennis ball to his Labrador Retriever, ...
Diss Proportionate
Of all the annoying and absurd allegations aired against Israel in this era, perhaps none is so ludicrous as the charge that Israel's response is "disproportionate." Well, duh. Isn't it supposed t...
The Giraffes: The _Heeb_ Interview
Giving one listen to The Giraffes third full-length, Prime Motivator you can easily understand why the Brooklyn quartet is hell-bent on making the soundtrack to the most wild party of your life. While their sel...
The Dirty Sanchez
Some supernerd hacked into the most boring of social networking tools, Twitter and made a funny. Cnet news reports that Rick Sanchez, honest newsman, got cyberpunk'd by a hacker. Oh noes! The popular anchorman ...
The Storch Delivers
After a one-year hiatus from David Storch: The Only Jew in New Hampshire, David graces us with another misadventure, this time, getting a dose of anti-Semitism at a local cafe. ...
Murphy’s Guffaw
Introducing The Ramen Girl, starring Brittany Murphy. It's the soaring tale of a young girl abandoned in scary Tokyo by her mean boyfriend, leaving her with only one option--starting a kooky affair with Bill Mu...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Do the Lord's Bidding
The Secret Service drives you to Ginsburg's house and hands you a set of keys. You get out of the car, take a deep breath and walk towards the front door. Your hands sweat. Your heart b...
