Right on schedule, the office phone rings and I snatch it fast to beat the interns. "Hello," says a cool, familiar voice. Flat and a little nasal, it's straight out of a Roseanne episode, The King of Comedy, or...

Cowasnuggie Dude! (The Daily What)Is That a North Pole in Your Stockings or Are You Just Excited for Christmas? (Asylum)D-Cups of Joe (F-Listed) Pantomimela Anderson's Cockney Co-Star Cunt Call Out (Agent Bedhe...

Reading Abby Sher's memoir Amen, Amen, Amen often feels like watching an M. Night Shyamalan movie—a haunting magical power forever looming just below the surface. She chronicles a bout with mental illness that ...

After receiving the awful and tearful news that one of my closest friends passed away yesterday morning, I haven't been able to sleep. I wanted to share with you all some of our fondest memories together.I fi...

The Music Issue made the cut on an episode of this season's Curb Your Enthusiasm. ...

It's early and cold. You stand next to me at the dog run before I have had the chance to take my first sip of coffee and immediately begin telling me about Muffin and her soft stool. Then you talk to Muffin: &q...

(full correspondence after the jump)Sometimes we get pitches so stellar, we can't not fuck with them. In this case, it seems a Heeb employee named D. Fisher (apparently fronting as our beloved Israeli folk sing...

Movies to See so People Don't Hate You (FilmDrunk)The Latkchos (Latkes +Nochos) Monster (Nachos NY)Blogs as Books as Books as Blogs (Mashable)Moshe Kasher is the iTunes Rewind 2009: Best New Comic (iTunes)Mormi...

For those of you who read US Weekly religiously (don't be ashamed, everybody's doing it) you already know that after three years of dating wholesome blonde Reese Witherspoon, Jake Gyllenhaal is finally a single...

Last night, I saw Avatar and I never have to go to Burning Man again. (I will, though, because I love that visual buffet of amazing and I love hippie pussy, or, as I call it, "hipussy.")Avatar was a lot like Bu...

Oh, foolish gentiles. Don't you realize that the only reason to abandon the true path of Torah and Mitzvos is to partake of your tasty treyf treats? If all your pagan delicacies were kosher, nothing would tempt...

The "Arbeit Macht Frei" sign hanging over the entrance to Auschwitz has been stolen. According to AFP, former Polish President Lech Walesa decried the theft of the sign and said he hoped it was only &...