Urban Kvetch: Fax Machines
Fax Machines
Why do you insist on forcing me to print out this document and then walk the 11 blocks to Kinko's to fax it to you? You're wasting (my) time, (my) energy and (my) resources because you refuse to u...
Urban Kvetch: “Entertainment Weekly” Columnist Stephen King
Entertainment Weekly Columnist Stephen King
This is worse than John Mayer's Esquire column. Stephen King has been locked in a log cabin in Maine for the past 40 years writing, like, three books a week. Let him...
Urban Kvetch: Cotton Swabs
Cotton Swabs
Forget the generic brand's common, cotton comb-over—the sound of that extra 40 cents dropping on the counter is music to my wax-filled ears. Using generic cotton swabs is like wiping your ass with...
Urban Kvetch: Endangered Stoops
Endangered Stoops
With all the first-wave gentrifiers and old neighborhoodies up-in-arms about the changing face of Brooklyn, it's surprising that nobody has taken issue with the saddest part of new constructi...
Urban Kvetch: Crunch
Crunch
The transformation of what was once a dank gym on St. Mark's Place into a lifestyle brand has been embarrassing: an ill-fated magazine (with "musician" Juliette Lewis), idiotic promotions ("Wicked Yoga"...
Urban Kvetch: Giving A Sandwich To A Homeless Guy
Giving A Sandwich To A Homeless Guy
How generous of you to offer that homeless guy the crappy half-eaten sandwich rolled up in foil at the bottom of your $595 Coach leather duffel bag. I can't imagine why they...
Urban Kvetch: Guys Who Put Their Hand On Your Back As They Pass In A Crowded Party
Guys Who Put Their Hand On Your Back As They Pass In A Crowded Party
This party is packed and it's hard to get over to the bar, so I know just what you should do: Take your sweaty paw and touch the magic littl...
Urban Kvetch: Flaunt Magazine
Flaunt Magazine
We were actually kind of flattered when we heard about your Jewish Issue—after all, we've been giving the lowdown on the hoedown between Jewish and popular cultures for the past five years. The...
Urban Kvetch: Five Minutes Away
Five Minutes Away
Where do you get the nerve to tell me that you're only "five minutes away" when you already told me you were "five minutes away" 15 minutes ago? Can you at least tell me how much longer you'l...
Urban Kvetch: “New York Times” Columnist Deborah Solomon
New York Times Columnist Deborah Solomon
Grouchy journalism, thy name is Deborah Solomon. I'm all for writers having their own voice, but Solomon's interview style is akin to that of an angry heckler sitting i...
Urban Kvetch: People Who Tell You Their Dreams
People Who Tell You Their Dreams
So you dreamt you were underneath the Eiffel Tower wearing a wedding dress and holding a key in your hand. And now you're asking me what I think it means. I think it means you'...
Urban Kvetch: Bathroom Attendants
Bathroom Attendants
It's one thing if a guy goes and picks up your car for you or carries your luggage to your room, but it's entirely another when he's solely turning the water on and off. Is there some human...
