Issues

May 4, 2010

Wobbly Tables This is a flipping four-star restaurant. The sauteed skate we ordered came with cauliflower that you spent a week and a half caramelizing and a caper-raisin emulsion that required a Ph.D. in Chem...

Urban Kvetch: The Demise Of The Fortune Cookie

May 4, 2010

1

The Demise Of The Fortune Cookie Remember fortunes? Something that foretells a new job, love or financial windfall; a prediction that eerily rings true that you'll superstitiously keep in your wallet; or at le...

Urban Kvetch: Dance Dance Revolution

May 4, 2010

1

Dance Dance Revolution Quit claiming it's "just like Guitar Hero." Dance Dance Revolution is to Guitar Hero what Napoleon Dynamite is to Justin Timberlake. Anyone who attempted their DDR "dance moves" in the r...

Urban Kvetch: The Locker Room At The Friar’s Club

May 4, 2010

The Locker Room At The Friar's Club To all of those Christian groups dedicated to "curing" homosexuality through "reparative therapy": just send Ted Haggard to the locker room at the Friars Club and expose him...

Urban Kvetch: Your First Day On The Job

May 4, 2010

Your First Day On The Job You get introduced to the same people five times and you still can't remember anyone's name, then you're seated at a desk and given nothing to do, so you spend the afternoon straighte...

Urban Kvetch: WebMD.com

May 4, 2010

1

WebMD.com So, Mr. WebMD, I had a slight rash on my face, which turned out to be a simple allergic reaction to my moisturizer. But according to you, I had incurable facial tumors, sun poisoning, melanoma and ch...

Urban Kvetch: Mr. Met

May 4, 2010

Mr. Met Mets fans aren't some sushi-rolling, lemonade-sipping pansy-asses. The blue in the team logo is a reflection of the hue around our collars. We may have some sentimentality for team mascot Mr. Met, but ...

Urban Kvetch: Asian People Who Insist On Doing Karaoke In Their Native Tongues

May 4, 2010

Asian People Who Insist On Doing Karaoke In Their Native Tongues Do you see me doing a rendition of "Hatikvah"? The whole point of karaoke is to choose a song that everyone's heard before so we can all experie...

Urban Kvetch: Your Annoying Plus One

May 4, 2010

Your Annoying Plus One So you had to invite your new "friend" to come out with the boys. She got belligerently drunk and wouldn't stop screeching about "chilling" in a recording studio with Lenny Kravitz ("…an...

Urban Kvetch: People Who Claim To Be Afraid Of Clowns

May 4, 2010

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People Who Claim To Be Afraid Of Clowns Here's the thing: They're not. They just think that saying they are makes for some sort of childhood-trauma personality accoutrement, fostering the illusion that they're...

Urban Kvetch: Fax Machines

May 4, 2010