_Heeb_ Presents:
Don't Pardon Abramoff
No matter how tempting the proposition is, you tell Abramoff that you're going to have to pass on the library. Abramoff looks a bit more frail than usual, so you invite him to join you ...
_Heeb_ Presents:
You Look in the Closet
You open the closet door and much to your surprise you find
yourself face-to-face with Vice President Cheney.
"Vice President Cheney, what are you doing here?"
A startled Cheney...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Obey "God," Kill Ginsberg
You inch closer to Ginsburg with the pillow. She's sleeping like a baby. Just as you're about cover her face, she's awakened by a commercial for Carnival Cruise. Her eyes widen at t...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Fire Up the VCR
Illustration by Angela Dominguez
You put in the tape and hit "Play." Bill Clinton is standing in the front yard of the White House throwing a tennis ball to his Labrador Retriever, ...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Stand Up to Cheney
Cheney's crooked, maniacal grin shifts ever so slightly into a crooked, maniacal scowl.
"Uh-oh," he says. "Looks like I'm about to have another unfortunate hunting accident."
Ill...
_Heeb_ Presents:
You Push the Button
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You take a deep breath and push the button, your hand shaking more than you thought it would.
"What the—?" you mutter as the White House garage door opens.
"Gotcha!" Rumsfeld r...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Watch the Game Highlights
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You sit down on the edge of Ginsburg's bed to watch highlights of the football game. Terrell Owens catches a touchdown pass for the Cowboys. You smile. That T.O. is one heck of...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Computer Golf in the Study
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Gosh darn, your study has been entirely packed up by the moving company, including your computer. Stacks of boxes ï¬ll the room. You open one of them. Aw, here's the flight ...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Go to Prayer
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You ï¬nd a quiet corner in your bedroom, kneel down and prostrate yourself to the Lord. It was He who told you to give up a life of alcohol, drugs and pleasure-seeking. It was He who told ...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Do the Lord's Bidding
The Secret Service drives you to Ginsburg's house and hands you a set of keys. You get out of the car, take a deep breath and walk towards the front door. Your hands sweat. Your heart b...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Look in the Closet
Â
You walk in the closet and much to your surprise you ï¬nd
yourself face-to-face with Vice President Cheney.
Â
"Vice President Cheney, what are you doing here?"
A startled Che...
_Heeb_ Presents: Choose Your Own Adventure
The alarm clock goes off in the Lincoln Bedroom. Movers are barking at one other in the next room, a reminder that it's the morning of January 20, 2009, and your ï¬nal hours as President of the United States a...
