_Heeb_ Presents:
Hit the Snooze Button
Â
Bzzt! That damn snooze button is going off again. Â
Do you:
Hit snooze once more.
OR
Start your day....
_Heeb_ Presents:
Look in the Closet
Â
You walk in the closet and much to your surprise you ï¬nd
yourself face-to-face with Vice President Cheney.
Â
"Vice President Cheney, what are you doing here?"
A startled Che...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Go to Prayer
Â
You ï¬nd a quiet corner in your bedroom, kneel down and prostrate yourself to the Lord. It was He who told you to give up a life of alcohol, drugs and pleasure-seeking. It was He who told ...
_Heeb_ Presents:
Start Your Day
You skim through your morning Intelligence Brieï¬ng: Satellite images show a Russian troop build-up in Western Georgia; a fast-moving wildï¬re about 30 miles east of San Diego is spreading; ...
Squarely Legal
You know how media outlets like Gawker have been reporting on Bill Murray's oddball behavior as of late? Well, some rampant Huluing of ancient television shows has uncovered a very interesting piece of Bill Mu...
Isn’t That Adorable?
This is one of those links that someone sends to you and the end result is a little painful upchuck in the office trashcan. You then find the strength to go back and say, "Who else can I punish with this w...
Hamasturbation
"Hamasturbation" refers to the subtle stroking that Gaza's most beloved mass murderers receive from certain figures in the press and the diplomatic corps. First, there was this one, that made sure to...
Let’s Turn to the Text
Dear friends, I stand corrected! The iPhone has pointless dollar-suck applications AND pointless religious applications. For those of you that loathe anything in physical form (everyone), get your prayers texte...
_Che_: The _Heeb_ Review
by Jed Oelbaum Ernesto Guevara, doctor, Jedi freedom fighter, popular T-shirt design and the subject of Steven Soderbergh's fawning four and a half hour Che, was executed in Bolivia, already beaten down by the ...
Whistle Blowers
Obviously, the iPhone's primary use is to host a variety of pointless dollar-suck applications. If anyone pulls this out at midnight, knock it out of their hand and smash it. Happy New Year's!...
A.A. Gill’s Inferno
Along with its typical Bush-bashing,Vanity Fair bestows an unexpected treat in this month's issue: A hilarious, irreverent and downright acerbic article by witty British writer, A. A. Gill, which chronicles his...
Do You Want That Toasted?
There's a new neighborhood blog in NYC that's fed up with gentrification and the mediocre eateries that always seem to follow. Its writers recently compiled an impressive (and often cruel/funny) roundup of the ...
