Author Heeb

Cabining Cabining is like camping, but in little cabins. You separate from nature with paper-thin walls, have somewhere to run to when the animals get aggressive and look like a hero for working the fire pit. ...

The WGA I come from Russian-Jewish stock. I practically have socialism running in my veins. But when, in the wake of a nasty strike, the WGA leadership makes public the names of those who have opted out of the...

The Star's Producing Partner You grew up with him. Or went to acting class with her. Or were the first dude he met the day before finally getting cast on the show that Changed His Life. But because your name i...

Bad Nuts Once in a while, even when munchin' on, say, a bag of high-end Bazzini cashews, you'll come across a nut that tastes a li'l fruitier than the others. Disgusting. So, who in their right mind would have...

Hotel Key Cards Yes, my key card did go near "a cell phone and/or credit card." I guess that's why it got de-magnetized, forcing me to trudge through the 50-degree casino in flip-flops and a sopping wet bathin...

"I Might Make It" The response that frequently oozes from the mouths of self-centered social-climbers who are unable to confirm their Sunday plans on Saturday. Perhaps I'm just being petty. After all, how can ...

Clipboard People Soliciting for a cause outside cafes where poor writers with left-leaning ideologies and hair-trigger guilt complexes go to eke out existences? No thanks, I'll skip the gut punch to my self-wo...

"Just a Tweak" Many words should be struck from the Hollywood lexicon ("passion" comes to mind), but nothing makes me wince like the use of "tweak." If you want a page-one rewrite, just say so and stop giving ...

Horror Remakes For the love of Romero, stop with the scary movie remakes before I kill somebody. Was it really necessary to crank out another When a Stranger Calls just because we now have cell phones? Did we ...

Baby Bumps When Mr. Show dreamt up the cynical notion of a prenatal fashion show, the targets were rednecks in the post-JonBenet era. But in fact, the Hollywood elite and their parasitic tabloid culture have b...

My Belly Hello, hairy stranger. I don't recall inviting you to block my view of my penis for the past decade. Yes, I know that nobody pointed a gun to my head and forced me to march to the all-you-can-eat Chin...

Greedy Wi-Fi Owners Do you sleep better knowing your less fortunate neighbors and the patron at the downstairs café can't get their claws on your personal stash of the World Wide Web? Why else would you opt t...