In the Beginning
Photographed by: Jennifer Bleyerby Jenn
Welcome to the third issue of Heeb. In the year since we've launched, many readers have written to tell us how cool we are. Others have slapped us for "trying to be c...
Urban Kvetch: “Vader Abraham im Land der Schlumpfe”
Vader Abraham im Land der Schlumpfe
I'm assuming that Vader Abraham is the guy on the cover of this obscure vinyl 45", but why is he singing love songs to oversized Smurfs? Is he supposed to be Hasidic or ju...
Urban Kvetch: “Brooklyn Babylon”, directed by Marc Levin
Brooklyn Babylon, directed by Marc Levin
Everyone from the New York Times to Artisan, the company that funded it, hated this updated King Solomon and Queen of Sheeba love story. They hated it so much that it...
Urban Kvetch: The Black Hat
The Black Hat
This style is truly fly. Not only does it go with any outfit, but the black fedora is just straight hustler. Humphrey Bogart might have popularized it, but the Baal Shem Tov pioneered the look at...
Urban Kvetch: Manishewitz Cherry Wine
Manishewitz cherry wine
Different fruit, same toxic dreck. Really, wasn't it insulting enough to do this to grapes? They should have quit while they were ahead (with everyone passed out in the puke on their se...
Urban Kvetch: Senator Diane Feinstein
Senator Diane Feinstein (D-Calif.)
Diane Feinstein is the uber-carpool mom. Just look at her. Now imagine that it's 7:35 on Sunday morning and you scramble out to her honking station wagon. You're sitting in t...
Urban Kvetch: King Zionic Root Drink
King Zionic Root Drink
Another fun, vaguely familiar find from the West Indian depths of Brooklyn. This one evokes images of muscular Rastas at work, quenching their Zionic Man thirst with funny-sounding herbs...
Urban Kvetch: Tye-Dyed Yarmulke
Tie-Dyed Yarmulke
It's a special way of saying "Yeah, I gotta wear this thing, but I'm really a wild and crazy guy with lots of funky dance moves. I don't turn on the lights during Shabbos, but come Saturday n...
In Praise of Neil Diamond
Mara Schwartz explains that the hero of so many orgasmic housewives wasn't always so fucking corny.
MC Paul Barman Chatters Away on the Phone
Prince Paul opting to produce MC Paul Barman's debut LP was about as miraculous as Moses getting plucked from the Nile. Here was hip-hop royalty, the mastermind of Stetsasonic, De La Soul and Handsome Boy Model...
