Urban Kvetch: “Vader Abraham im Land der Schlumpfe”
Vader Abraham im Land der Schlumpfe I’m assuming that Vader Abraham is the guy on the cover of this obscure vinyl 45″, but why is he singing love songs to oversized Smurfs? Is he supposed to be Hasidic or just a creepy old German? We all know that the Smurfs were an anti-Semitic race of...
Urban Kvetch: “Brooklyn Babylon”, directed by Marc Levin
Brooklyn Babylon, directed by Marc Levin Everyone from the New York Times to Artisan, the company that funded it, hated this updated King Solomon and Queen of Sheeba love story. They hated it so much that it never saw the inside of a major movie theater, and went straight to the sorry-ass shelves of Blockbuster....
Urban Kvetch: The Black Hat
The Black Hat This style is truly fly. Not only does it go with any outfit, but the black fedora is just straight hustler. Humphrey Bogart might have popularized it, but the Baal Shem Tov pioneered the look at least three hundred years before Casablanca hit, and way before it made its way into a...
Urban Kvetch: Manishewitz Cherry Wine
Manishewitz cherry wine Different fruit, same toxic dreck. Really, wasn’t it insulting enough to do this to grapes? They should have quit while they were ahead (with everyone passed out in the puke on their seder plates.) As always, drinking more than a bottle induces a psychedelic trance similar to a k-hole along with memory...
Urban Kvetch: Senator Diane Feinstein
Senator Diane Feinstein (D-Calif.) Diane Feinstein is the uber-carpool mom. Just look at her. Now imagine that it’s 7:35 on Sunday morning and you scramble out to her honking station wagon. You’re sitting in the back seat, nice and warm in your winter jacket, when suddenly she starts in: We need to ban the gun-show...
Urban Kvetch: King Zionic Root Drink
King Zionic Root Drink Another fun, vaguely familiar find from the West Indian depths of Brooklyn. This one evokes images of muscular Rastas at work, quenching their Zionic Man thirst with funny-sounding herbs: The ingredients list “four-man strength” and “strong back” — surely stuff to put hair on your chest. But it’s balanced with something...
Urban Kvetch: Tye-Dyed Yarmulke
Tie-Dyed Yarmulke It’s a special way of saying “Yeah, I gotta wear this thing, but I’m really a wild and crazy guy with lots of funky dance moves. I don’t turn on the lights during Shabbos, but come Saturday night, I break out the Phish bootlegs and say brachas on bong hits”. You go, rebel....
Ginsberg Revisited
"I'm a vampire sucking your youthful energy." Matthew Power remembers his days with the poetry star.
Diamond is Forever
Mara Schwartz explains that the hero of so many orgasmic housewives wasn't always so fucking corny.
Jewfros
_(exerpted from original article)_ Let us gather now to speak of puffy hair. You know what I’m talking about. That nappy, kinky, frizzy stuff that we have straightened, pulled back, slicked down, blown dry, blow torched and hacked off. But there are some who dig their hair’s natural freakiness — those stylish souls who make...
Peaches
For those of you who’ve been living under a subcultural rock, Peaches wooed the indie world last year with her beatbox porn debut, The Teaches of Peaches (Kitty-Yo). Formerly an elementary school teacher in Toronto, she got bored with life there, reinvented herself, and moved to Berlin, where scenesters were quick to recognize the genius...
MC Paul Barman Chatters Away on the Phone
Prince Paul opting to produce MC Paul Barman’s debut LP was about as miraculous as Moses getting plucked from the Nile. Here was hip-hop royalty, the mastermind of Stetsasonic, De La Soul and Handsome Boy Modeling School, pulling into his court a Brown-educated, suburban white boy. The result of their collaboration was It’s Very Stimulating...
