Alice in Wonderland

So professional voice of morality Alice Walker (formerly married to a Jew) has announced that she’ll be on the next Love Boat running the Gaza blockade. We won’t try and top British author Howard Jacobson’s op-ed piece on the matter (and we highly recommend his truly funny book, The Finkler Question), but reading Walker’s delusions of piety, we were reminded of what she had to say about Osama bin Laden after 9/11:

“…But what would happen to his cool armor if he could be reminded of all the good, nonviolent things he has done? Further, what would happen to him if he could be brought to understand the preciousness of the lives he has destroyed? I firmly believe the only punishment that works is love.”

Alice, Jewdar is sure you mean well, and in your own mind, you are a woman of integrity. But can we have some consistency? Live up to your own high standards, Alice, and when you get to Gaza, by all means, condemn Israel if that’s what you want to do. Call them murderers, which you’ve already done.  But then at least have the courage of your convictions and publicly demand that Hamas responds to Israel’s crimes with the same form of punishment you recommended for Osama bin Laden, and insist that they replace rockets, suicide bombs, and the continued imprisonment of Gilad Shalit with love.

What do you think?

About The Author


The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

4 Responses

  1. Malice Walker

    You people might be asking me why I am going on the flotilla. I am going like my ancestors did a thousand years ago-to liberate Palestine from the infidels. This time the infidels are Jewish. You may ask-why do I care about a Jewish state when there are 57 Islamic states. Heres why. A Jewish state is by nature racist. Islamic states are totally legit.

  2. Tit For Tat « Heeb

    […] Once again, Jewdar wishes that the Jewish State would let us handle their PR. As thousands of Syrians flee to Turkey, as refugee camps fill in on both sides of the border, and as reports are coming out that armed men (presumably from the Syrian government) are preventing the Red Crescent from entering the camps on the Syrian side, it seems like a golden opportunity for Israel. All they need to do is outfit a few rusty trawlers and announce that Israel will be sending a humanitarian flotilla to the Turkish-Syrian border to help the beleaguered refugees of Arab tyranny and aggression, then sit back and watch the fun. Maybe they can even offer Alice Walker some kind of frequent traveler discount. […]

  3. The Color of Hebrew | Heeb

    […] time Jewdar checked in on Alice Walker, she was saying very important thingsTM about Gaza.  Now, the writer, who, when it came to Osama bin Laden, believed that “the only punishment […]


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