Fleas
My cats Mookie and Cleo had fleas this week. I really felt for the cats, because they had bugs biting them and shit, but I felt a lot worse for myself. Turns out a single flea can lay about 30,000 eggs, so I had to remove the pets from the premises and flea-bomb the whole apartment with a substance akin to Agent Orange. It sucked. I hope the fleas are burning in flea hell.
GIDEON EVANS
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