Page 325 – Heeb

Every Time You Cute Up Words, A Million Kittens Die

January 20, 2009

There I was, minding my own business, reading a women's magazine at the gym, when the word reached up from the perfumed page, grabbed me by the throat and squeezed until my eyeballs practically catapulted acros...

The Adventures of a Jewish Hippie Festival Medic

jessie

January 20, 2009

19 · The Wasted Issue, Archives

1

Summary

In Defense of Courtney Love

joshua neuman

January 16, 2009

Archives

26

On Friday, Page Six ran an item on our recent interview with Courtney Love and focused on her purported "anti-Semitic ravings." The evidence? A line half-way through the 5,550 word piece in which she ...

Allegedly Gay (Definitely Fat) Basketball Player Sued By Jewish Ex-Con Driver

jed_oelbaum

January 16, 2009

Archives

3

Eddy Curry, former Chicago Bull, current New York Knick, and all-around fatso, has some big, fat litigation coming his way. The oversized Curry, former NBA leader in field goal percentage (like five years ago.....

Brooklyn In a Bottle

January 16, 2009

Archives

1

The last time I checked, the smells coming out of the borough of Brooklyn weren't anything that I'd want to bottle and wear on my person. There's Park Slope, which often exudes the sweet smell of baby powder, a...

DMX: Don’t Bend Over for the Bubble Bath

kbookatz

January 16, 2009

Archives

1

DMXmay belocked up in an Arizonaslammer, but he's found away to voice his grievances--namely, pink uniforms. Check outthis ridiculoustelevision interview whereMr. Crazy McLithium himself waxes nostalgic about t...

Culturally Insensitive To the Last Drop

January 16, 2009

Archives

1

So apparently coffee company Tchibo and gas company Esso were running an ad campaign in Germany in which their slogan ("Jedem den Seinen") was pretty much the same as the words adorning a concentratio...

Quote Unquote Hilarious

January 16, 2009

Archives

1

It's really annoying when people put "quotes" around things for "no reason." That's why this blog is "awesome." Check it....

Public Stoning?

January 15, 2009

Archives

1

Oliver Stone was recently spotted playing soccer and chewing coca leaves with President Evo Morales of Bolivia. Papers speculate that Stone's trip to the foreign land could be connected to upcoming documentary ...

Mostly Sunny With A Chance Of Showers

January 15, 2009

Archives

1

Just when I thought I was out of excuses for not visiting my grandparents a feces-throwing monkey, on the loose in Tampa, FL, saves the day. ...

_Choose Your Own Adventure_ … With This Guy

Brian Abrams

January 15, 2009

Archives

4

For those of you who haven't picked up a copy of our Politics issue, there's a feature in there called Choose Your Own Adventure: Dubya's Last Day in the White House where you get to decide the fate of Curious ...

Who Is Ari Brouillette?

kbookatz

January 15, 2009

Archives

18

Ari Brouillette--if that's even his real name--writes amazingly hilarious bogus reviews on _Amazon.com_. According to his Amazon profile, Brouilette has been f-ing with Amazon customers for over five years now...