Ari Brouillette–if that’s even his real name–writes amazingly hilarious bogus reviews on _Amazon.com_. According to his Amazon profile, Brouilette has been f-ing with Amazon customers for over five years now (albeit very sporadically). His reviews run the gamut, covering items as diverese as a galavanized metal bucket and a book about the history of walking. The more obscure the better (and funnier).
"The highly versatile Dover Parkerburg 610 2- Gallon Galvanized Metal Water Bucket was recommended to me by my neighbor Jim Anchower. Jim is something of an amateur consumer products testing buff and assured me that when it came to galvanized buckets the Dover Parkersburg reigns supreme! Jim had previously turned me on to the the Swiffer WetJet Mop Total Cleaning System and the Hoover Quik-Broom S2561 so I knew he wouldn’t [mess] around when it came to my metal bucket needs."
Though he’s still a relatively unknown lampoonist and very little is known about him other than the fact that he hails from Kensington, California (the name "Ari" might suggest a MOT?), Brouillette’s recent review of the popular self-help book The Secret–which surfaced on the web a few days ago (only to be removed from the Amazon website)–has become a cult classic in the precarious world of email-forwards and has catapulted him to Amazon reviewer stardom.
"Please allow me to share with you how “The Secret” changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life…At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life."
It only gets funnier from here and the ending is nothing short of spectacular.
this man needs a website (or at least a blog).
I am Ari
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