Gotham has been gaga over the word that Madonna has been canoodling with A-Rod. Now it’s time for Jewdar to begin to feign interest, as word on the street is that A-Rod’s quite-possibly-soon-to-be ex Cynthia is alleging that the Pop Diva is using the power of Kabbalah to bewitch her beau–apparently, inculcating the pinstriped playboy with the idea that he is her soulmate.

Personally, we feel terrible for Mrs. Rodriguez. Bad enough that your husband leave you for a younger woman, but when you’re still fairly va-va-voomish and the other woman is 15 years older than you and 17 years older than your husband, that’s really got to suck. Still, we’re glad that the experience has apparently not left her feeling any animousity towards Jew-know-who, since Cynthia’s seeking solace with semi-Semitic singer Lenny Kravitz, who himself used to be hooked up with Madonna (is it just Jewdar, or is this getting as incestuous as a real soap opera?).

On the flip side, we are perversely excited by the prospect that pop Kabbalah is on the verge of making the viral leap from entertainment to sports, even as we wonder if A-Rod’s interest isn’t partially spurred by the current trendiness of Major League Jews.

Anybody offering odds on whether or not A-Rod discovers his marrano heritage sometime soon?

What do you think?

About The Author


The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

9 Responses

  1. notoriousJ.A.P.

    When will this kabala nonsense end?
    Also, ew Madonna is nasty.

  2. iconic

    “When will this kabala nonsense end?”

    It won’t. Other over-the-hill divas will get themselves kabbalahcised,
    so that they too may get a young, hot “soulmate.”

  3. iconic

    I heard that trying to spookout A-Rod , some Red Sox fans at Yankees-Sox game were holding up pics of Lenny with Mrs. A.

  4. TC33Piper

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