Main Street Treats
Canvassing in the Midwest over the previous week had its non-political perks—the experimental candy. The Great Plains happens to be America's nuclear testing grounds for terrible and marvelous candy. Our favori...
Jacobs Wrestling Economy
The fashion world shuddered this week when Men's Vogue announced its absorption into parent magazine, Vogue. Thoughts of Condé Nast staffers stripped of their expense accounts sent a chill throughout the alrea...
Minority Report
Wasting little time Wednesday, Barack Obama made a first move to assemble his administration, choosing Rahm Emanuel, the current Illinois Congressman to serve as White House Chief of Staff. If 2008 is to be r...
Sights Trained on Change
OK, so now that we've all taken one giant leap towards change-I'm hoping that yesterday's progress will help clear up one minor issue that is oh so major to majorly minor (short) people like me: train overcrowd...
Penis Academy
First a black President, next Steve Guttenberg jogging naked through the park.Reminds me of one of those zany Police Academy-esque mishaps? You know, like the time Proctor lost all his clothes at the policeman'...
Election Day’s Real Winner
Obama may have clinched the US presidency last night in an historic moment in political history, but last night's real winner was...digital hologram technology?!will.i.am of The Black Eyed Peas (and the produce...
“Axelrodian”
After dealing with eight years of jealousy, frustration and rage over "Rovian" tactics, allow me this opportunity to coin a new term named after Obama Chief Strategist David Axelrod--"Axelrodian,...
“Hussein” Will Rank High for 2009 Baby Names
Congratulations, America. You have avoided electing 71-year old with a Veep who can't tell the difference between the voices of Sarkozy and Inspector Clouseau. ...
Schwartz of the Month Runs Marathon
Lacey Schwartz, "Schwartz of the Month" from our Summer 2008 issue, seems to be a woman of many talents. Aside from creating the independent documentary Outside the Box and enjoying both Miller Lite a...
Jewish Gigolo Blackmails BMW Heiress
Hahahaha. So Susanne Klatten, Germany's richest woman, and BMW heiress, has been caught in an intricate blackmail scheme, complete with sex tapes, buried money, a gigolo named Helg Sgarbi and a supposed interge...
Ivanka Shtupalot?
Rumors abound that New York Observer yeshiva-educated Jared Kushner and Donald Trump's WASPy shiksa daughter Ivanka will be making it official under the chupah. Word has it the bodacious Trump has been taking J...
