Author Heeb

You Look in the Closet You open the closet door and much to your surprise you find yourself face-to-face with Vice President Cheney. "Vice President Cheney, what are you doing here?" A startled Cheney...

Don't Pardon Abramoff No matter how tempting the proposition is, you tell Abramoff that you're going to have to pass on the library. Abramoff looks a bit more frail than usual, so you invite him to join you ...

Obey "God," Kill Ginsberg You inch closer to Ginsburg with the pillow. She's sleeping like a baby. Just as you're about cover her face, she's awakened by a commercial for Carnival Cruise. Her eyes widen at t...

Fire Up the VCR Illustration by Angela Dominguez You put in the tape and hit "Play." Bill Clinton is standing in the front yard of the White House throwing a tennis ball to his Labrador Retriever, ...

Stand Up to Cheney Cheney's crooked, maniacal grin shifts ever so slightly into a crooked, maniacal scowl. "Uh-oh," he says. "Looks like I'm about to have another unfortunate hunting accident." Ill...

Britney Spears, Michael Jackson and Lindsay Lohan have given being bonkers a bad name. And this, friends, is why you need to appreciate Courtney Love. She may be a partied-out, namedropping big mouth, but thanks to her, it's still cool to be a screw up.

If you're looking for something to do with your money now that the stock market has crashed, put it all on Natasha Lyonne's comeback.

By Brian Heater "What is art to you?" I'm silent for a moment. Not because I'm thinking hard about the question—at least not at first—but rather, because my first inclination upon being asked is an attempt t...