This dude is so misinformed. Someone oughta tell him we don’t get bacon, lobster, or foreskin. Personally, I’d trade all the stuff he says we have for a Christmas tree and a nose without this semetic bump. I guess it’s true what they say: The grass is always greener on the other side of the shtetl. Or in this case, the suburban backyard.
But you know what, Mr. Eberle? If you’re really that desperate to join Club Yid, then okay. On behalf of Team Heeb (or at least the Ginjew contingent), let me be the first to say, “Welcome to The Tribe.” Did I mention the position comes with a whopping side order of guilt? For the sake of decorum, let me answer that question with another question. Would it be too much trouble to stop making internet videos for thirty seconds and call your aging mother already?