Urban Kvetch: Skin Bronzer
Skin Bronzer
Africans and Asians around the world spend billions of dollars annually on skin bleaching creams and white people think, "How sad." Get real, you orange-glowing hypocrites. Bronzing creams make yo...
Urban Kvetch: Seinfeld References
Seinfeld References
Don't assume that because I'm a Jewish New Yorker I know what you're talking about when you say, "It's like when Jerry wore the puffy shirt!" and squeal with delight, pointing to my down ja...
Urban Kvetch: Fat Personal Trainers
Fat Personal Trainers
Is it too much to ask to be assigned a personal trainer who's actually in shape? Maybe it's just me, but I'm not really inspired to finish up my French curls when the guy cheering me on i...
Urban Kvetch: Pasadena
Pasadena
If I got off on buying the same crewneck sweater in eight different colors at Talbots, this'd be heaven. I used to live within a mile of the beach and a 14-theater AMC; now I've got a giant sign that ...
Urban Kvetch: Girls Who “Already Ate”
Girls Who "Already Ate"
I order a big hunk of lasagna and you get a house salad because you "already ate." Excuse me? Either you're a bitch for putting me through six different e-mail exchanges dedicated to fi...
Femme Retail
On the television series Mad Men, Rachel Menken is a second-generation Manhattan merchant who gives her father's department store an overhaul. In season one of the Eisenhower-era drama, which aired on AMC earli...
Marxist Theory
It's no coincidence that Samm Levine's character on the fabulous but now defunct television series Freaks and Geeks was obsessed with the comedic masterwork of the Marx Brothers. Growing up a severe asthmatic, ...
It’s A Mad Mad World
"Something is very wrong with me," says Frank Einstein in the first issue of Mike Allred's cult-classic comic book series, _Madman_, published sporadically since the early '90s. Frank's insecurity stems from hi...
The Bush, The Virgin, The Jew And The Cinderblock Bible
When Josh Swiller traveled to Africa to build a well, he never intended to dig himself into a hole.
The Accidental Shiksa
No, she doesn't just play one on TV. Cheryl Hines as you've never seen her before.
Jewdar
*Rhymes With "Chagall"*
Jewdar has long followed the career of martial artist, action star, PETAphile, energy drink entrepreneur, environmentalist, musician, reincarnation of a Tibetan lama and all-around awes...
Hairy Christmas
Zach Galifianakis's new Brooklyn apartment is almost bare. There's a couch and a table with a vase of sunflowers, some books and papers. Taped up on the adjacent wall are three maps of the Middle East. "Oh, don...
