Madonna: Now You Tell Me?

It’s been years since we’ve found the Material Girl’s love affair with celebrity Kabbalah remotely interesting, but recent, unconfirmed reports that in the wake of recent scandals embroiling the pseudo-Jewish center Madonna is flirting with the uber-Catholic Opus Dei have piqued our interest. First of all, because, according to this, back when Guy Ritchie was her guy, in keeping with her preference for kosher meat, she got him to get snipped.

Bad enough that the Brit had to get a bris to please his missus, but then not only do they break up, but she might be breaking up with Kabbalah. If that’s not adding insult to injury, we don’t know what is. The second thing is that this whole story has set our irony alert blaring at full blast. Madonna will do what she wants to do, but we hope she can take a little constructive criticism–if she’s really looking for a new religious attachment that isn’t embroiled in scandal, might we suggest something other than the Catholic Church?

What do you think?

About The Author


The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

3 Responses

  1. Bridgeport Guy

    Talk about scandal in the Catholic Church? Why doesn’t the media pay any attention to the terrible stories of rabbis who’ve been involved in sexually perverse and sometimes illegal acts? There’s some scandal for you.

  2. A. Gabriel

    I think it is simply fashionable to attack the Catholic Church. But the Catholic Church can withstand whatever $hit is being handed out because it is under the protection of Jesus Christ Himself who personally started the Church. So, the deeper the attacks anda vitriol, the stronger we Catholics become. There is nothing more graced and wonderful than the Catholic Faith.

  3. Bob Pope

    When Rabbis do something perverse – they are brought to justice , not hidden or buried by the synagogue. There is some church out there and I don’t want to mention any names that denies , hides and buries the allegations for decades – for the greater good , I suppose its Jesus himself that denies hides and buries these allegations. Some protection! Is that what Jesus did while he was on the cross? Organize bingo games? thus creating the church?


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