Let’s All Pray Naked!

For months now, Women of the Wall has lead a growing group of dedicated ladies to pray at Jerusalem’s Western Wall. They brave insults and injury from mobs of Orthodox men incensed by WotW’s use of tallit, and tefillin, ritual objects the Orthodox believe are only to be used by men. Yes, mobs of angry men are throwing rocks and eggs at Jewish women trying to pray Jewishly at Judaism’s holiest space, because hey – when it comes to religious extremism, why should Saudi Arabia have all the fun?

In an op-ed published Tuesday by YNetNews.com, Rabbi Dov Halbertal laid out a compelling case for why the Women of the Wall should – no, must – be stopped before it’s too late. Too late for what? Before they start to pray naked. He writes:

The day when some progressive Women of the Wall-style organization petitions the Supreme Court, demanding recognition for women’s right to pray at the Western Wall uncovered, is likely not far off. They will argue that it should be seen as the only proper expression for the direct connection between man and God, through a prayer emerging without any barriers.


Don’t see this as a parody or – God forbid – as malicious joy, but as a possible and actual forecast. With the significant growth in the representation of feminist female Knesset members, the Jewish people are in for deep trouble on their part in this area as well.

Better stop those craaaaaaazy ladies from praying. After all, given the scientifically-proven relationship between “female prayer” and “getting bare-assed” (Published in Bullshit Scientific Quarterly. The thesis goes something like “Women pray. Women also get naked. Therefor, women’s prayer, like, totally leads to women getting naked. QED“), once they start, there’s simply no way to avoid this doomsday scenario. Never mind the fact that the Women of the Wall exist, in part, to exercise their right to wear a prayer shawl. Nope, it’s naked Jew-flesh from here on out.

This all comes as a shock to just about every heterosexual 14 year old boy on Earth, all of whom have spent countless hours praying for naked women, without the slightest clue that they’ve had it backwards this whole time.

What do you think?

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3 Responses

  1. Umar

    There’s nothing “Jewishly” about women taking men’s roles in prayer, Which are strictly forbidden to them.
    You being American and your only god being the “equality” you are so eager to impose upon everything makes it hard for you to understand this concept it seems.

  2. Isaac

    Umar, women taking men’s rolls in prayer is NOT strictly forbidden. That you think so is a sign of poor Jewish education. Women have been barred rabbinically from leading “coed” prayer service because it is EMBARRASSING for the congregation, if whom only the men have an obligation to pray in this manner, to be represented by someone who doesn’t. This has literally NO bearing on an all WOMEN prayer service, and there is no religious, halachic reason why women can’t hold their own.


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