For months now, Women of the Wall has lead a growing group of dedicated ladies to pray at Jerusalem’s Western Wall. They brave insults and injury from mobs of Orthodox men incensed by WotW’s use of tallit, and tefillin, ritual objects the Orthodox believe are only to be used by men. Yes, mobs of angry men are throwing rocks and eggs at Jewish women trying to pray Jewishly at Judaism’s holiest space, because hey – when it comes to religious extremism, why should Saudi Arabia have all the fun?
In an op-ed published Tuesday by YNetNews.com, Rabbi Dov Halbertal laid out a compelling case for why the Women of the Wall should – no, must – be stopped before it’s too late. Too late for what? Before they start to pray naked. He writes:
The day when some progressive Women of the Wall-style organization petitions the Supreme Court, demanding recognition for women’s right to pray at the Western Wall uncovered, is likely not far off. They will argue that it should be seen as the only proper expression for the direct connection between man and God, through a prayer emerging without any barriers.
Don’t see this as a parody or – God forbid – as malicious joy, but as a possible and actual forecast. With the significant growth in the representation of feminist female Knesset members, the Jewish people are in for deep trouble on their part in this area as well.
Better stop those craaaaaaazy ladies from praying. After all, given the scientifically-proven relationship between “female prayer” and “getting bare-assed” (Published in Bullshit Scientific Quarterly. The thesis goes something like “Women pray. Women also get naked. Therefor, women’s prayer, like, totally leads to women getting naked. QED“), once they start, there’s simply no way to avoid this doomsday scenario. Never mind the fact that the Women of the Wall exist, in part, to exercise their right to wear a prayer shawl. Nope, it’s naked Jew-flesh from here on out.
This all comes as a shock to just about every heterosexual 14 year old boy on Earth, all of whom have spent countless hours praying for naked women, without the slightest clue that they’ve had it backwards this whole time.