Drake using an appropriate cup for this vintage

Despite an annual pre-passover WSJ puff piece praising the new line of kosher wines, most readily available kosher wines remain dreadful. This is in no small part because kosher mandate requires that a wine be “cooked” if there is a threat that a gentile will touch it, a preparation that would horrify most oenologists even for a quaffing wine.

Bartenura wines are particularly vile because they are so sickeningly sweet. Only clueless Orthodox Jews who never tasted the elegant fruits of the secular world could drink such sugary urine on a regular basis. It’s kosher wine lines like Bartenura that helped create the myth of Jewish sobriety.

I hope the rappers in this video, “I’m On One,” didn’t actually have to drink the product. Drake is Jewish, so he’s probably used to it, but as for Dj Khaled, a Palestinian, this is yet another abuse at the hands of our people.

Please see minute 3:08.

Hat tip: Frum Satire