Israel’s “Size Doesn’t Matter” Campaign Goes Flaccid

(video after the jump)

A few years back, Jewdar gave a talk to a group of Israeli diplomats being sent to represent the Jewish State to the media at various consulates around the U.S. Any delusions we might have had that Israel operated a sophisticated PR machine died that day, the moment when I heard one of these diplomats whisper to another presenter: "What is blog?"

Fast forward to last week’s New York Times headline, "Positive Views of Israel, Brought to You by Israelis." Finally, we thought, some Israelis are getting their act together. Then, we read the piece. It seems that some Israelis have figured out that they have a bad image in the world and have decided to do something about it. Unfortunately, that something falls under two headings, dumb, and dumber.

In terms of dumb, you have Israelis traveling abroad being given pointers on how to behave. Now, we are all about courtesy, but come on, Israel, you’re a country, not a school going on a field trip. "Okay, remember, when you get off this plane, you represent this institution…" But even that’s better than Plan B.

Israel is a country which, as is evidenced by the behavior of these thuggish UC Irvine students at a speech by Israeli Ambassador Michael Oren, many people seem to see as somehow embodying the worst traits of both Jewish anti-Nazi caricatures and Nazi anti-Jewish caricatures. But how does the newly formed Israeli Ministry of Information and Diaspora Affairs think this image will be combated? Apparently, by shattering "what the ministry sees as the common myths about Israels–that it is a big and primitive country, that its food consists of little more than hummus and falafel, and that Israelis as a group do not seek peace."

Really? Is that really the problem facing Israel in the media? That people think Israelis eat a lot of hummus? First of all, I have to tell you, hummus is awesome. Secondly, Israelis really do eat a whole lot of it. Third, and most important, the day that Israel is associated primarily with hummus and not genocide will be one of the greatest days in Jewish history.

Here’s a crazy notion–instead of focusing on completely irrelevant issues ("We just bombed Gaza and hit an ambulance–we better put out a commercial proving that Israelis don’t ride camels"), why not try to actually address the real myths and misconceptions people have about Israel? Granted, a convincing defense of Israel might involve admitting that some criticisms of Israel have some validity to them. But it also might involve really thinking about why Israel matters.

But hey, let’s not think about any of that–instead, let’s watch the pro-Israel Size Doesn’t Matter campagin video. It’s chock full of sub-Three’s Company sexual entendres. That’s what the kids like, right?

What do you think?

About The Author


The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

18 Responses

  1. Puck

    I’ve never BEEN so appalled XD
    But seriously, the acting in this is sub-90210 remake level…and the tone of it ranges from the baffling to the mildly offensive, with a low level hum of irritating throughout.
    Massive PR fail…though in light of the gro

  2. drewdeska

    What amazes me is all the attention re: Israel’s Image. Recent polls show that 63% of Americans support Israel, 15% support the palestinians, and 23 either don’t have an opinion or just support both the same. Another point, young people don’t get a crap a

  3. drewdeska

    Oh and on other thing, any writer at HEEB that makes fun of Sex selling Israel is a hypocrite, remember that HOT ISRAELI WOMEN calendar? Yup, the one HEEB released. i won’t criticize it, cause it works!

  4. drewdeska

    So a little reality check, not to demean the youth of today, but they couldn’t give a crap about Israeli politics, the palestinians or the dying children in Sudan, that is just a sad reality, but hey do care about things they relate to, like cheese shows

  5. brainyfox

    Great piece, Jewdar. That PR campaign turns my stomach. I’m so sad. Even beyond the cheesy sexual innuendos: “Big Paradise”? How disingenuous can you get? Israel is amazing. But paradise it is not.

  6. Puck

    Hmmm, scientists have lately discovered countries outside of the United States (shocking!) and that ‘world’ opinion includes these other “countries” as they’re called.
    Americans support Israel because they hate the Arab world, that’s hardly a boon…that

  7. jewdar

    In defense of my countrymen, Puck, I believe that particular ad is actually produced by Canadians, who, it should be noted, share a head of state with you.

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  12. Esteban

    Racism will never be hip, no matter how hard Israel and his ZioBots try.

  13. Food for Thought « Heeb

    […] was just an ingeniously orchestrated effort on the part of the Israeli Information Ministry, which, going back a year, has been looking for ways to convince people that Israelis don’t eat just …. So they create this whole crisis, plant these stories, and make people think that Israelis are […]


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