Horny Jew? There’s An App For That

Jews are a horny people. They like holes in their bed sheets, porn spoofs, and naughty online confessionals to which they can spill their sexiest semitic secrets.

Perhaps, then,  it should come as no surprise that someone out there decided to make it a little easier for Jews to have awkward, hirsute sex. Yenta, an iPhone app seeking to replicate the success of GLBTQ geo-locator Grindr, allows (presumably) single (presumably) horny (presumably) Jews to find someone to bring home for Shabbos, or just to screw silly in their Upper West Side studio apartment.

iShtup

Users are encouraged to rate themselves on a scale ranging from “Just” to “Super Jewish” and to describe both their own “shtick” as well as what a prospective suitor could do to “Impress Your Mother.” It’s the sort of lazy yiddish treacle Jewish singes events have gotten away with for years, because hey – maybe sex!

Trust us, she’s not interested.

However, seeing as how it’s been 20 minutes since I downloaded Yenta, and no one’s so much as offered me a bite of their knish, I’ll stick to striking out with the Jewesses the old-fashioned way: At synagogue.

What do you think?

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Heeb's Managing Editor knows more about Iggy Pop than you. You can follow him on twitter (@Thejewishdream) if you'd like.

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