Ever wonder what it would be like if Fifty Shades of Grey had better grammar, more imaginative imagery, and a much bigger Jew-factor? Well, mystery revealed: Introducing Jewrotica.org, your new go-to site for tantalizing tales and sexual how-tos with a Jewish slant. Actually, make that your first go-to site. Jewrotica’s creator, Ayo Oppenheimer, noticed the lack of outlet for erotic storytelling and sharing in the Orthodox community. Obviously, she’s not the first to notice, but she is doing something about it. Ayo was raised in what she describes as “an active and vibrant Jewish home,” attended a Jewish day school, studied for a year in Israel and majored in International Relations and Jewish Studies at Johns Hopkins. So, yeah, she’s pretty damn Jew-y. Ayo says that she has a “deep respect for the observant Jewish community,” but that her upbringing was seriously lacking in sex education. Says Ayo:

“Judaism purports to be a sex-positive religion, and we don’t believe in Original Sin. We believe in taking things in this world and sanctifying it. It’s not, “Food is Bad,” it’s “Eat in moderation, keep kosher, makea blessing, be mindful.” Sexuality’s supposed to be the same way, yet it somehow got shut out and closed off.”

Ayo adds:

“Growing up in the Yeshiva day school system, I wished there was some sort of television series or entertainment that would reach my reality.”

Ayo is now creating that reality for herself and others. Since childhood, she said that she has been breaking out of “the Orthodox shell that [she] had been in,” and has devoted her 20s to “starting fun projects where, you know, ‘I wish something like this existed,’ okay . . . let me see if I can do it.” One of those projects is Jewrotica.

This toy looks like it gives new meaning to the phrase “Hebrew Hammer.”

With some of its funding coming from The Schusterman Foundation, Ayo seeks to make Jewrotica “a hub of Jewish sexual expression.” The site’s content falls into six different categories: Romantic Tales, Awkward Stories, Naughty, Reflections, Reviews, and Confessions. Some, like the Reviews section, are more educational. Others, like the Confessions and Naughty category posses more of a “guilty pleasure” aspect. The Awkward Stories are simply fun (and commiserative, because who among us doesn’t have that awkward-sexual-encounter-at-Jew-camp story?). Each article is rated PG-R, so that the reader knows what they are getting themselves into. Ayo notes that while the site is intended for all ages of adults, and will not contain pornography or graphic content, it is not designed to be viewed by children.

Jewrotica.org is designed to be a community site. Readers and fans can submit their own stories and reviews under any of the aforementioned categories, and are encouraged to do so. In fact, in the future those who submit may be put in the running for give-aways like gift cards. And further down the line, one of Ayo’s goals is to offer Jewrotica workshops.

Warning: After skinny-dipping at Jewish summer camp, uncircumcised penises might just seem second-rate.

  When asked if Jewrotica is designed to encourage sexual interactions amongst Jews, or will include stories about Jew-to-non-Jew fantasies, she laughs, and says:

“It’s really both. This is not a birthright game to try to eroticize Jews and Judaism to the point of Jews should only be in relationships with other Jews . . . but hey, if it turns out being the next great turn-on, I would be very pleased about that. But at the same time, I think maybe there is a certain amount of reclaiming in it . . . there is something uniquely sexy about Jews, and Judaism, and our Jewish community, and if anything, this is just providing a forum for people to explore that side of themselves.”

Jewrotica.org’s official launch is today, so no need to wait to start exploring. Go ahead and log on . . . (I think we see where this is going) . . . and get off.