Hey, Academy! Matthew McConaughey Was Robbed!

A slice of Hollywood brilliance has been circulating the web-o-sphere these days. While the movie Tiptoes came out way back in 2003, the trailer for this McConaughey-Beckinsale vehicle has only recently emerged from obscurity thanks in part to comedians Paul Scheer and Aziz Ansari.

Where do I begin? Gary Oldman on his knees for an hour and a half playing a dwarf? A hulking, beefy Matthew McConaughey is the offspring of two little people? And wait…Kate Beckinsale is an artist?!?!?

But the best part of this trailer (see below) is a minute and twenty-eight seconds in when we see the Most Gentile Actor Alive (officially) break a glass under a canopy while wearing a yarmulka. Shame on you David Weisenberg for officiating at this wedding.

And btw, SPOILER ALERT: Beckinsale becomes pregnant–oops!–and McConaughey gets a case of the frigid feet. Is it possible that the baby could be a dwarf? Oh, snap! This of course inspires them to break apart but, alas, Beckinsale finds the love and understanding she needs in Oldman who sadly goes full-midget. You cannot make this stuff up. Oh, and you can’t make this dialogue up either. A sample: "So you had a circle jerk with a bunch of little people? I would love to see that!" Where were the Oscars in ’03? Huh?

Have we discovered the worst movie of all time? Yes. Yes, we have.

What do you think?

Anonymous May 26, 2009

this is the BEST movie of all time. the most handsome dwarf in the world is in this film: peter dinklage. he is the brad pitt of little people. and it is a role of a lifetime for gary oldman.