We’re sure that last week, when you sat down in front of your computer with your customary martini* and tub of Vaseline, you were horrified to find that Heebmagazine.com wasn’t there. We pray both that you forgive us, and that you haven’t realized just how many other websites there are out there that also offer free pictures of half-naked girls. But we’re pleased to announce that our website is back, it’s new, and thus by definition*, improved.
Who knows what the future may bring—what with the vicissitudes of the publishing world, the fickleness of the American public, the evolution of increasingly potent strains of “superbugs” that even the most powerful antibiotics can’t beat, but one thing is sure—as long as the economy is such that we can pay Web designers to design our site, fight winos on the loading dock, and still have money left over to give the winner a bottle of Mad Dog, Heebmagazine.com will always be here.
*In some countries a martini may be defined as a jelly jar full of vodka.
**With the exception of Coke, Testament, and Jack City.