Gwyneth Paltrow released her “back to school” edition of her online lifestyle magazine goop today, but it was quite obviously a thinly veiled excuse to give a shout-out on the first day of the Jewish New Year. Paltrow begins by wishing “my people” a “Shana Tova” and offers some easy (and easily kosher) back to school recipes. But here’s where sh*t gets real with guest author Jill Kargman:
“…my fresh start has always been September: the feeling of turning a corner, pressing the reset button, and walking with a renewed spring in my newly-booted step. And not just because I’m Jewy Jewstein and I’m going the eat crisp granny smiths and honey to ring in a sweet annum ahead….”
We’ve long known that Gwyneth is a die-hard M.O.T. (we were the first to notice that she posed with a challah in Vogue), but she’s practically gone baal t’shuvah here by publishing Kargman’s New Year sermon. Here’s more:
“I’m not entirely great at sitting still in temple (in fact I am so into my Soulcycle class, I call it Spinagogue). That said, I crack out new duds, sit with my family and basically listen and think. My mind often obviously drifts to other places but in this insanely tumultuous chaotic world it’s nice to press the pause button and feel that momentary beat between seasons. Rosh Hashanah is like the top of the roller coaster after slowly inching my way up through an interminable August. And then (deep breath!) we go speeding gleefully into fall, hitting the ground running in heels to meetings, dismissals, activities and parties. And I love it all. Maybe when winter’s sniffles start and I’m blizzard-weary I’ll have a fleeting pang for summer’s snail’s pace. But knowing my ants-in-my-pants, sun-loathing vampire self, I highly doubt it. So tonight I’m gonna party like it’s 5774.”
Just how many goop readers around the world can identify with this much insider baseball Jew talk? Don’t be surprised if a future edition of goop has sheitel styling tips.