Score! You were going to pardon Abramoff anyway. But before shaking on the deal, you decide to play a little hardball.
“A Presidential library is nice, Jack. You know, I’ve accumulated quite a lot of books these past eight years. The First Lady just loves to read books. You know she used to be a librarian?”
“I did not know that, sir,” replies Abramoff.
“That’s right,” you say. “You aren’t the only people of the book if you catch my drift.” You laugh at your own joke and continue:
“But I don’t want just any old library.”Â
“Well, what do you have in mind, Mr. President?” Abramoff asks.
“Number one,” you begin, “I want a game room on every ï¬‚oor. Number two: Laz-E-Boys. Number three: O’Douls on tap. Number four—” Abramoff cuts you off.Â
“You fool!” he cries, as he takes off his hat, revealing his true identity: Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist, Seymour Hersh.
“Jack Abramoff is currently serving time at a minimum security
federal prison,” Hersh mocks, triumphantly revealing a voice recorder. “Your legacy is history!”
“I knew Jack Abramoff didn’t have glasses!” you reply as Hersh skips out of the room to ï¬le his story.
(Want another shot at presidential glory? Start over.)