Tough Jew Is Boxing Champion, Majority of Other Jews Still Fairly Wimpy

Yes, the new World Boxing Association champion is not only a Jew, but he’s also studying to become a rabbi. The first Jew to hold a title since Mike Rossman, “The Kosher Butcher,” Yuri Foreman, 29, just took down Daniel Santos, a gentile, against the predictions of other gentiles.

Bravely sustaining an injury above his left eye, he’s now healing with the help of 18 deliberate stitches from his Jewish plastic surgeon. (Yes, 18 is the Hebrew numerical value of “Chai.”) Did the wound magically heal overnight? “I saw Yuri yesterday and it looked much better than the night of the fight,” says Yuri’s spokesman Dovid Efune, “but we are all bound by the laws of nature.”

As reported, Foreman does pray during his fights. “The divine purpose is a large part of his success,” Efune confirms. “He’s a devoutly religious young man. He wears tzitzit and always has his head covered when he’s not fighting.”

And we might not have to wait another thirty years before the next yid champ. “We all hope the next one will be on December 5 with Dmitriy Salita.” Efune means the WBA light welterweight title match between Orthodox Jew Salita and devout Muslim Amir Khan. (If only all Jew/Muslim conflicts could be solved in 10 rounds.)


Muslim and Jew prepare for short, civil, resolveable conflict

What do you think?

About The Author


Steven enjoys alliteration and quirky line drawings. His turn-offs include broken links, enriched uranium and Holocaust denial.

14 Responses

  1. allanthetalkingchimapnzee

    I thought accuracy was a Jewish trait? Yuri fought & beat Puerto Rico’s Daniel Santos, not Miguel Cotto. Cooto fought & lost to Pacquaio – not a Jew, but nevertheless a pretty tough gentile himself.

  2. ArmbarKimura

    Leave it to Jews to promote anti-Jewish stereotypes. Foreman wanted to “show that Jews can fight”, and trained all his life to do so. Heeb’s StevenM did not even bother to figure out who fought who, but brought the champion’s intentions to naught with a m

  3. Anonymous

    I don’t know about tough or not, but judging by the title of this article, most Jews are really stupid – at least the ones that write for Heeb

  4. Puck

    You thought accuracy was a Jewish trait? Evidently you’ve never followed Israeli Politics (I’m looking at you Bebe! Well, you and almost all your predecessors). The suggestion that if Jews don’t confront Jewish stereotypes that these stereotypes will s

  5. MikeGale

    Your prose style is as attractive as your reportage is accurate — remember, irony and sarcasm are Jewish traits.
    I was a successful amateur boxer in the 70’s, (27-5-14) and admittedly
    only boxed 3 other Jewish guys. But at that time there were — befor

  6. Anonymous

    one day i went shopping outside,and in an ed hardy store,I found some kinds of ed hardy i love most they are Your website is really good Thank you for the information Abercrombie And Fitch

  7. Anonymous

    Dylan won the Oscar in 2000 for his replica breitling watches original song Things Have breitling watches Changed for the film Wonder Boys. Bennett Marcus attended the wrap breitling watches party for Ugly Betty and details the highs and lows

  8. Anonymous

    But he’s dug himself a partisan hole with this big bill, and it’ll be interesting to breitling watches see him try to dig his way out. On the one hand, an Academy Award is nothing to sneeze at. Bullock has Reply

  9. Anonymous

    It’s almost as bad when you ask tag heuer watches voters how the law will affect them personally. There is lots of doubt and some considerable belief or hope that the new law won’t affect them


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.