Melissa Leo’s Unused Oscar Speech Leaked!

As you already know by now, the Oscars shunned Melissa Leo’s performance as “Jewish Mother Zombie” in Night of the Living Jews, but they did recognize her for her work in Frozen River with a “Best Actress” nod. Back in December, I interviewed Leo for Heeb and asked her to forward a copy of her (potential) acceptance speech to me so I could share it with you. This morning, she sent me the following:

“I can’t tell you what an honor it is just to be mentioned in the same sentence with all of these amazing women. And now I’m up here and just, Wow.…Oh I can’t help myself….I’ve got to say it…. You really thought you had this shit locked down, didn’t you [Kate] Winslet, you fat floozy?…Keep looking at me like that [Angelina] Jolie and those lips of yours are gonna get a whole lot fatter….Anne [Hathaway], I loved you in Bride Wars. Aw, I’m just messing with you Anne, I didn’t see Bride Wars. Did anyone? No really, I don’t even know who the fuck you are!…Finally, Meryl [Streep], you’ve been a huge inspiration to me over the years but as of this moment, bitch, it’s on! You won’t be able to book a Lifetime special when I’m done with you.”

Apparently, at this point, Leo anticipated the orchestra cuing her that her time was up:

“Shut the fuck up Bill [Conti]! I’ll come into that pit and shove this hunk of metal right up your ass, so help me God!…I really want to thank my agent my wonderful son and our brilliant writer/director Courtney Hunt and, of course, Heeb Magazine, that dazzling journalistic endeavor….If anyone’s looking for me later tonight, I’ll be at the back of the Governor’s Ball huffing whippets and doing body shots with Mickey Rourke. Afterparty at my place! We’ll be doing lines off this guy’s [motioning to Oscar] golden ass till next Tuesday. Peace out, bitches. Buy Night Of The Living Jews.”

What do you think?

About The Author

Oliver Noble

High school dropout Oliver Noble has managed to parlay his Los Angeles internship with a coke whore into creating tasteless works which that have been featured in Heeb, Girls and Corpse Magazine and

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