We Won’t Call It a Final Solution…

Jewdar’s preferred solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict was always pretty simple and straightforward–all you needed was for all the super-hardcore Zionists living in the Far West Bank (by which we mean Bergen County, New Jersey) to trade their homes with Palestinians living in the West Bank.  Think about it–take a Modern Orthodox family of 6 living in a nice house in Teaneck; not only would those six move to Hebron, but you could probably fit about 25 Palestinians in the space they’d be giving up.  A win-win for everybody.

Sadly, nobody has embraced our plan just yet, but we are always on the lookout for out of the box solutions.  Thus, when we saw this piece about a ginormous housing complex started by the Nazis as part of their Strength Through Joy program and finished by the East Germans as part of their Strength Through Tedium and Drudgery program, we had another aha moment (that means that we had a revelation, not that we ended up in the pages of a badly drawn comic-book being chased by guys on motorcross bikes while Scandinavian pop plays in the background).  Germany has been doling out billions of dollars in reparations, and what does Israel have to show for it?  Lovely apartments built a few miles away from lots of surly Palestinians.  Do you see where we’re going with this?

The Germans are trying to figure out what to do with this housing complex.  The Israelis are trying to figure out what to do with the Palestinians.  Are we the only ones here who smell sitcom?

What do you think?

About The Author


The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

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