Sanitized Toilet Rings
I don’t feel safe anymore! I feel vulnerable to attack! I yearn for a simpler time, a time when public toilet seats were sanitized for my protection. Growing up, my world was wrapped in a slim paper ribbon, lightly gummed on the end and ringed ’round every motel toilet seat in the nation. My cute little tush was covered. But no more. The rings have vanished. The good spirits have fled. When it comes to toilet hygiene, it’s every man for himself. Honestly, who ya gonna call? Tom Ridge? Frodo? That Tidy-Bowl guy? Forget it. These days I’m kickin’ it old school, bubbe-style. Hovering in fear.
JAIME WOLF
Leave a Reply