Ultra-Orthodox Require More Isolation, Are Less Advanced than Kinky Pope

Ultra-Orthodox rabbis have found yet another dangerous source of corruption: the haredi people themselves. The rabbis wish to dismantle the community’s own websites because of gossip and "abominations."

Israel’s "God fearing" (those really, really religious-looking guys who won’t even answer when you ask the time) live in enclosed communities and have little contact with the outside world. The Internet (the most democratic medium ever created, or an unlimited source of porno, depending on who you ask) appears to be threatening rabbinical control and giving rebellious haredim access to information and, worse, an anonymous chance to rebel.

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Though they do not look like a major threat to the haredi way of life, just imagine them holding laptops.

An AP article reports that a comment on a blog post criticized the community with an image of the "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" monkeys. Another used the term "harediban" — conflating the haredi with the Taliban. (This raises an important question: Is it possible bin Laden has been hiding among Israel’s religious this whole time? They share some politics, and with the right hat, he could kind of blend in.)

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In contrast, Catholic leadership is embracing technological advances. The Vatican, which even has its own YouTube channel, recently urged priests to use digital media "to spread the message." This is the same Vatican that just revealed how Pope John Paul II (the moderate one) flagellated himself nightly to feel closer to God. (Holy Da Vinci Code!) For those keeping score, that makes ultra-Orthodox Jews officially less progressive than Catholics who think whipping oneself is holy rather than a sex game.

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Israel’s haredi rabbis could learn a thing or two from this kinky bastard.

What do you think?

About The Author

StevenM

Steven enjoys alliteration and quirky line drawings. His turn-offs include broken links, enriched uranium and Holocaust denial.

9 Responses

  1. Anonymous

    Google may pay heed. “Level of community support is certainly one supra parts of the factors we’re considering,” says a Google spokesman who Reply

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