Thoughts Upon Finding Myself on a Big Nose Fetish Site

Last year, I posed for Heeb Magazine’s Shtetl Bunny Series. A couple of month’s ago, a casting director friend texted me and asked, “Do you ever google yourself?” I told him it had been a long time. “Oh,” he responded, “Did you know you’re on a big nose appreciation site ?”

Um, no. I didn’t.

As it turns out, way back in January of this year, pictures of me has been posted to Big Nose Appreciation Discussion Forum. The post had no description, only pictures. And not just pictures from the Heeb shoot, but some of my professional acting headshots as well. Which means, I realized, whoever put up that post visited both Heeb and my personal website to obtain the pictures. Upon making this discovery, I had a number of reactions, in the following order:

  1. Wait, this exists? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, EVERYTHING exists. Probably always has, but with the advent of the internet we now have instant access to every fetish under the sun. I guess what surprises isn’t the fetish, so much as the forum supporting the fetish.
  2. Who is this person making these posts, and more importantly, how did he (she?) find me? I looked at his other posts (for research purposes, of course) and I have no connection to any of the other women on this site. Most of the women posted about are models or known actresses. It’s not like I have a stunning IMDB or Model Mayhem page. Do I exist elsewhere in the Googleverse as “Large Nosed Redhead”?
  3. Is my nose really THAT big? While looking at the Heeb photos, I was initially concerned about my nose size. A friend reassured me, “No one is looking at your nose. Trust me.” And I did. I trusted him. Well friend, you were wrong. Apparently for some, a pair of breasts doesn’t carry the same weight as a pair of nostrils.
  4. Hold on, because this might just be a win for Jewish American Princesses everywhere. Women have complained for years about the rigid standards of beauty peddled by advertisers and Hollywood. But look how far we’ve come! If lil-old me, a Ginjew from Ohio, can be appreciated by strangers for her larger-than-average schnoz, girls everywhere can be appreciated for their below or above average attributes. Hell, me and Lea Michele are practically nasal pioneers! (As it turns out, the person who posted about me also posted about her. In fact, she was his second post ever.)
  5. It turns out that if you click on my picture, you can download it directly onto your desktop. Does this mean that people are downloading these pictures? And if so, is there a way for me to benefit financially (or otherwise) from these downloads that I’m not sanctioning?
  6. Finding myself on this site raises a lot of questions. Who is looking at me? Who is downloading these pictures? Why are there no men on the site? (Adrien Brody, anyone?) But one question stands above all the others: Why doesn’t the post about me have more views?? And why hasn’t anybody commented in that way internet trollers do, and be all like, “Yeah, she’s hot!” I mean come on, it’s not enough for one weirdo to find my nose hot, I need the praise of many nose fetish weirdos to feel good about myself!

Well. At the end of the day, any press is good press, right?

What do you think?

About The Author

SASS

Megan Sass is a natural redhead. She is also a writer, actor, and Hebrew School teacher. Turn-ons include: Boxer Dogs, Falafel, and Fanboys (especially those residing in the capital of the DC Universe). You can follow her on twitter at @Megan_Sass.

8 Responses

  1. epobirs

    Really? I’d think on a big nose fetish site that schnoz would barely rate as petite.

    OTOH, the schnoz in question is attached to a pretty spectacular package, so I cannot help but approve their taste.

    Perhaps it would be better named, ‘Really Hot Women Who’d Have Gotten A Nose Job If They Were Less Self-Confident.’ Makes for a very ungainly URL, though.

    Reply
  2. Thomas Wictor

    This is easily one of the most Dadaist posts I’ve ever read. From the title of the magazine to the nose fetish site to your concern about both the size of your honker and the fact that it wasn’t featured enough on the site, we’re in the land of fur-covered teacups and feeding bales of hay to pianos.

    I love it! And you’re a fabulously attractive woman whose nose size is commensurate with the size of her brain and her wit.

    In other words, all are gargantuan. Herculean. Homeric! EPIC!

    Reply
  3. DirkJohanson

    If big noses weren’t hot, all us Jewish guys would have completely given up on Jewish women and breeded exclusively with shiksas generations ago. To say being into big noses is a fetish is like saying being into big breasts or big penises or big wallets are also a fetish.

    Reply
  4. Larisa

    Surprisingly, in some cultures big noses are considered really attractive. When I lived in Japan, guys were always saying that my “big, pretty nose” was sexy AND girls were always saying how they wished they had a big nose like mine. I’ve had some positive comments about my nose from Chinese people too; it’s nice for something that feels like a liability to suddenly feel like an asset lol

    Reply
  5. richi

    well her nose is really sexy….her nose is in proportion ann her nostril holes are quite nice…like it.

    Reply
  6. james

    Megam saas! Urs nose is as sexy as u are! U r hot. One thing that i like about ur nose is its straightness. Urs nostril seems nice. It looks quite amazing. I wish i could have kissed it.

    Reply

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