Shawarmy Salesmen

For some time, Jewdar would hear of the high-quality but low-kosher schwarma offered at the Israeli-owned Chickpea restaurants in the East Village of Manhattan, and feel nothing but a sense of rage-inducing betrayal. All those years of swamp-draining and tree planting and Palestinian-expelling, and all we have to show for it is treyf shawarma?

At last, however, the Zionist dream (well, this Zionist’s dream at any rate) of high-quality, reasonably-priced kosher shawarma is being fulfilled. Chickpea has dropped the name, and added a hechsher, and is being reborn as the glatt kosher Name Our Glatt Kosher Restaurant. (The name is bad, but whoever comes up with the best alternative by May 1 can win $3,000, which buys an awful lot of grilled meat.)

Unlike many such restaurants, the tahina, amba and charif is on the table, liberating diners from the petty tyranny of the guys putting the shawarma together (the one circumstance in which the UN isn’t willing to condemn the Israelis). We can’t recommend entering the contest (we’re already planning on winning, so you’d just be wasting your time), but we exercise all our considerable moral authority as Heeb‘s kosherest heeb to order those of you reading this to check out the restaurant as soon as Passover is over.

What do you think?

About The Author


The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

6 Responses

  1. mrnhghts

    Excuse me, but what made it treif, Jewdar? They claimed to be kosher. Do you have information to the contrary, or are you just claiming they are treif because they didn’t buy off you local haredi rabbi? Huh, Jewdar?

  2. Raffulon

    For the best of both worlds go to that place near NYU – whatever it’s called this week. Although at this point, shwarma in general gives me major heartburn and can’t be good for blood pressure.

  3. Anonymous

    That place (whatever it’s called) is quite good, but they always drown my falafel in tahina when I asked for a tiny bit.

  4. iconic

    someone posted on Gawker, that they saw Meryl Streep in front of this place.
    Wondering here , is she researching a new Yid role
    or is she a shawarmaphile?

  5. iconic

    so this place needed to have a several month long contest , in order to come up with the name

    Kosher Village


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This will close in 0 seconds