Secular Israelis Unhappy the Orthodox Procreate like Rabbis

Anxious about legitimacy and impending nuclear war, a new poll shows Israelis also fear that the country’s becoming too Jewish. Clearly, black-hatted, payis-sporting members of the ultra-Orthodox get more action than we realize (or care to picture) — population trends predict that the haredim will soon constitute a majority in Israel.

Of the secular Israelis polled, more than half said they “fear for Israel’s existence” as the haredim take demographic control, and some want to revoke the benefits the ultra-Orthodox currently receive, which include state-granted funding for religious education and exemption from army service. 12 percent even claim they’ll leave the country if it’s overrun by the god-fearing prudes. So unless the secular plan on staging the first pogrom ever headed by Jews, they had better start getting very busy, very irresponsibly. Birthright, anyone?

What do you think?

About The Author


Libbie is your token teenage brat. When Libbie Jacobson's not doing dirty work for Heeb, she's either cooking stir-fry, writing shitty fiction, or daydreaming about Dr. Brian Cox.

2 Responses

  1. pam siegel zarte

    This article is very offensive.Due to a high intermarriage rate of Jews today, in 100 years the only Jews left on earth will be the so called “ultra” orthodox. I dislike the term “ultra orthodox” when it is used by non-jews, and dislike it more when used by Jews.One is either orthodox or not orthodox.

  2. Ra'anan

    For those of you who may be considering going ultra after reading this piece: I don’t think they get more action; as it’s probably nothing but a higher ratio of “shooting for success” activity and not so much fun-oriented.

    Maybe the right term for this looming conflict should be labeled as “Creation vs. Recreation”.


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