Say it Ain’t So, Gwyneth

So tonight Jewdar is all set to watch the truly remarkable Waltz with Bashir, and a trailer comes on for a Jewquin Phoenix/Gwyneth Paltrow (whose Abrahamic ancestry is sufficiently well-known to need no dazzling wordplay on our part) pic entitled Two Lovers. We could be wrong, but it seemed to us that the plot involved Phoenix as the son of Russian Jewish immigrants in Brighton Beach (though, unlike the protagonist of writer-director James Gray’s earlier Little Odessa, he doesn’t shoot anyone) whose parents want to make a match between him and an NJG, but who falls hard for Paltrow’s shiksalicious glamor girl. Perhaps Paltrow’s character will be a MOT as well, but to us, this looks like the sort of things that Jewdar found excruciatingly annoying 16 years ago.

_Heeb_ has events in LA, so we know they get the magazine out there–has nobody there figured out that in fact there are enough hot, hip Heebesses in New York that both of Joaquin Phoenix’s love interests could be Yiddenehs? We know that President Obama is going to have a lot on his plate, but is it possible that in those first Hundred Days, he could throw in some legislation that would ban or at least limit depictions of uptight Jewish men who become obsessed and infatuated with free-spirited shiksas?

What do you think?

About The Author

jewdar

The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

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