Red Julius

Convicted spy Morton Sobell’s recent admission that he was, in fact, justly convicted, and that Julius Rosenberg was a spy as well, can hopefully provide some closure on one of the worst episodes in Jewish male history. Julius Rosenberg and Ethel Rosenberg were long held to be martyrs and victims of antisemitism; we can now say the Julius was a victim of nothing and Ethel was a victim of the grotesque selfishness and deceit of the Jewish men in her life. First, there was her brother, David Greenglass, who lied about her involvement in spying for the Soviets. Then, there was prosecutor, beau of Barbara Walters, and notorious closet case Roy Cohn, who was part of the prosecutorial team that falsely charged Ethel with a capital espionage charge in the hopes of leveraging a confession and more names out of Julius. Finally, there was Julius himself, who, far from being the noble suffering saint of leftie mythology, chose to see his wife murdered and his sons orphaned rather than betray his devotion to arguably the most murderous regime in human history.

Thankfully for us, the day after reading about Sobell’s admission, we finally got around to seeing Pineapple Express, and the whole heaping helping of hilarity handed out by the film’s heeb hunks did much to restore our faith in the bris-bearing members of the semitic species. If you haven’t seen it yet what’s your problem? We’ve got to pay babysitting plus Manhattan theater prices, but you? You’re just pathetic.

What do you think?

About The Author


The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

3 Responses

  1. doramittelbau

    Julius Rosenberg’s guilt was demonstrated long before Morton Sobell confessed. Documents containing his name et al uncovered after the fall of the Soviet Union proved that he was indeed a spy.

  2. jewdar

    I know, and you know, but there remain some who would seemingly be unconvinced by anything short of Rosenberg’s risng from the grave and confessing his guilt. This is about as close to that as you’re going to get.


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