Quit Crying

Just because you’re a Jew doesn’t mean you’ve got to boo-hoo-hoo on Christmas Eve. Tonight, _Heeb_’s party-of-the-year is going off simultaneously in New York, Los Angeles, Denver, Chicago and Portland. Rehab will have to wait until Christmas Day.

*Heebonism New York* will take place at the Knitting Factory and start with an hour-long open bar from 9:00-10 p.m. The 21+ blowout will feature live sets by Original Hamster, Terry Diabolik (Finger on the Pulse), June D (White Dove) and DJ Krowd Pleezr, Christmas Carol Karaoke, “Strip Dreidel” led by _Kinkyjews.com_ and all sorts of other Semitic salaciousness. The event runs from 9:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m. (open bar courtesy of LinLin Vodka for the first hour) and will be held at the Knitting Factory (74 Leonard Street, New York, NY). Tickets are $20 in advance (“Knittingfactory.com”:http://www.knittingfactory.com) or $25 at the door. (The event is 21+)

*Heebonism Los Angeles* will take place at the “Clothing of the American Mind”:http://www.cotam.org/ Headquarters in Echo Park (1284 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90026) and run from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. The night will feature “DJ Lillyanne”:http://www.myspace.com/djlillyanne of FUTUREHOUSE fame and, yes, Strip Dreidel. Tickets are $15 at the door with proceeds to benefit Clothing of the American Mind’s 2008 Cross Country Voter Registration Campaign.

*Heebonism Denver* will take place at The Loft Denver (821 22nd Street, Denver, CO 80205) and feature a live performance by “Team Facelift”:http://www.teamfacelift.com/, plus the music of DJ Klaw. The event runs from 8:00 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. and is presented by Midnight at the Merage. Tickets are $25 in advance (“Midnightatthemerage.com”:http://www.midnightatthemerage.com/) or $36 at the door.

*Heebonism Chicago* will take place at Stone Lotus (873 N. Orleans Street, Chicago, IL 60610) and run from 9 p.m. to 4 a.m. The event is being masterminded by an all-star heeb lineup and will feature tasty treats from our home away from home, the “Eleven City Diner”:http://www.elevencitydiner.com/ and DJ sets by “Jay Diamond”:http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=199409809 and Ryan Pullano. There will also be a drink special called the “Oy Bomb” (Bacardi O and Red Bull). Tickets are $10.

*Heebonism Portland* will take place at the Ace Hotel (1022 SW Stark, Portland, OR). The party runs from 9:00 p.m. to 1 a.m and will feature Manishevitz cocktails, ping pong and vintage video games, plus DJ Hanukkah Miracle, HR Paperstacks, DJ Solomon and Never Forget & DJ Safi ($5), but you can also show up for a delicious Chinese dinner beforehand ($30) and spend the night at the hotel after the shindig ($100). Proceeds from the event will benefit the Oregon Jewish Musuem. If you’re down for the 6:30 p.m. dinner, please email [email protected]_ as space is limited. Oh yeah, almost forgot. The event is 21+.

What do you think?

About The Author

The Grand Conspirator

The Grand Conspirator is part of a secret Semitic society that traces its roots to Medieval Salamanca. He will be saying Kaddish for Soupy Sales for the rest of his life.

18 Responses

  1. womyn

    Yea, all around the party did blow. But it was slightly redeemed when the brick flew through the window covering my jewish fro with hate crime glass. thanks heeb.
    and ps. did anyone follow up on this modern-day-in-your–face-jewish christmas-portland-kr

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    I had a great time at the Portland dealie. I think that a lot of the complaints that beth made in her blog were exactly the things that I liked abut the party…but it sounds like she never even went inside, so whatever…the fact that it had the “backya

    Reply
  3. Sababa

    Huh. Sounds like you should have come to Denver. The only problem we had was the 5 foot chocolate fountain burped (read: exploded) and created a mafia-style looking bloodbath on some of the revelers.
    A half-naked “Fat Jew” from Team Facelift certainly a

    Reply
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