Paris Hilton is Not Ricky Gervais’ British BFF

In an act of sheer wit and absurdity, Ricky Gervais wrote President Obama (otherwise known as O-Bombs) a letter–which is posted on his blog–the otherday petitioning for America to give up Victoria Beckham in exchange for newexpatParis Hilton, who reportedly just bought a house near him in London.(Gervais is distressed by the mere thought of her, let alone thenotionof possibly bumping into her at his local kebabery.) Hilton is in town filming her newshow,the nauseatingly-titled Paris Hilton’sBritish BFF. (Seriously, who comes up with this shit?)

However (and this is to you, Ricky), I’m not so sure these ladies are reallythat different–ie: one pretty much equals the other. I’ve drawn up a list to show you:

1. They are both tanorexic (tan + anorexic).

2. They bothhave gobs of funny money (the kind of money that you can douse withgasoline and light on fire without blinking).

3. They both have recently been seen sporting bob hair-dos.

3.They both own gross manse’s in LA, complete withportraitsofthemselves everywhere.

4. They both have recorded second-rate songs (and both can’t sing for shit).

5. They both own little dogs, whichhave beenused to replace actual human friendships.

Need I go on?

What do you think?

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