Marina Weisband: A Jewish Pirate in German Politics

Marina Weisband

The new political star of Germany is Jewish which hasn’t happened since…ever. We – Jews in Germany – are full of hope, for Marina Weisband has arrived. She will, even if she is only 24 and head of a disastrously incompetent party, bring some brighter days for all of us.

That’s what the opening line to this text would have been four weeks ago. But it was not meant to be. Marina Weisband just resigned, citing fatigue and her upcoming diploma in Psychology as the reasons. And we are all crying bloody tears.

She was one of the leaders of the Pirate Party, an offshoot of a new political organization that popped up all over Europe in the last few years. The name is reminiscent of famed download site “The Pirate Bay” for a reason: The Pirates, as they call themselves, are basically interested in Internet rights (“copyright reformation”) and not much else.

Even if they have no real economic or foreign policy plans, they are a small success, with polls predicting they could enter Parliament. In Berlin, they are already in the Senate. One of delegates there only wears overalls and a keffiyeh headscarf, another one was honestly surprised when he heard that Jews might have a different perspective on antisemitism. There is a line between charming unconventionality and blind unprofessionalism, and the Pirate Party frequently crosses it.



All of which would be totally irrelevant if the face of the party hadn’t turned out to be Marina Weisband, who joined early on and rose to the top. She is a Jewish woman amongst men who seem to have massive problems with both of those things. “Feminism” is considered a taboo concept. Every Pirate is equal; discussing gender would actually be sexist.

The Jew-thing is even more complicated. Two years ago, a Holocaust denier was still a leading member of the party. And since, for many Germans, Jewishness is a religion and nothing else, Marina Weisband, who goes to shul every Friday, is the enemy. Seemingly every day, she’s confronted with questions like “You’re a Jew? Isn’t that some sort of Nazi-thing?” by Twitterers who proudly identify as Pirates.

But we never questioned Marina (we get to call her that) for her staying with the Pirates. If anything, it made us like her more: A tragic Jewish heroine, trapped in a goyishe organization. She just seemed like, given the opportunity, she would and could get shit done, starting with some of her party colleagues.


I don’t think there’s a Jewish politician that inspires the same kind of adulation in the US. Maybe pre-scandal Anthony Weiner, when he was that guy who was friends with Jon Stewart and an awesome yeller. But adoration for Weisband was different. Had she been in office some months longer, I have no doubt there would have been shirts with her face, Shepard Fairey-style. Alas.

When news broke that Marina had received antisemitic hate mail and was going to resign, everybody suddenly realized that there really is no hope. Even if she says that those two events are unconnected: Here is a smart and proud Jewish woman who was too good for this world.

Wait, it’s not like she’s dead. She says she’s gonna return – this time, hopefully not surrounded by latently antisemitic sexist bumbling idiots. During a talk show, a former governor casually said to her, “And in 30 years, when you’re Chancellor…” – everybody laughed, Weisband included – “no, I’m serious! You’re gonna be Chancellor!” Who knows. We’ll see in 30 years.

Till then, of course, Germany can go fuck itself.

What do you think?

About The Author

Fabian Wolff

Fabian Wolff was born in East Berlin just before the wall came down and is, sadly, still living there. He writes all kinds of things and desperately tries to out-Jew Leon Wieseltier. Has some funny stories about dead animals, too.

12 Responses

  1. Marina Weisband

    This is by far the most uninformed, subjective, hateful comment I have ever read regarding the pirate party.
    You like what I do. Well I fight the wall between jewish and not jewish people, the same wall that is built by antisemites and you – from different sites.

    Waiting for something good to happen and saying that until then ‘Germany can go fuck itself’ is exactly what will NOT change anything. You admire me? Well do the same as I did and join a damn party. I don’t care which one. But DO something.

    Also, get your facts straight. Half of what you wrote there simply isn’t true.

    Love,
    Marina

    Reply
  2. Julius C.

    Marina, would you consider joining a jewish Think Tank in Berlin?

    We gotta get things done, i couldn’t agree more with you. And there are lots of smart, well educated young Jews in Berlin, who are very much interested in bringing things on. Let’s roll.

    Will you walk this street with us?

    Reply
  3. Bahar

    Well, no offense but Jews should not get into German politics. You saw what happened after WW1 when a Jew signed the Treaty of Versailles he signed the death penalty for Jews of Europe.

    Reply
  4. Len

    I applaud Marina for who she is. Germany needs to give Jewish people chance to prove that Nazis were wrong the whole time and that the 6 million of us really did die in vain because of the brainwashing by Adolf Hitler and the Nazis.
    Come on Marina, take your break, but do not “fade away” from the German politics. The Germans, regardless of their religions, really need a lady like you!

    Reply
  5. Bahar

    No we do not want her and we do not need her. I think a career in American politics would better fit Marina!!

    Reply
  6. Jeffrey Andreoni

    YEAH MARINA! YOU TELL HIM! PIRACY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TODAY AND IF YOU EVER WANT TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THAT UNIVERSE AND SHARE YOUR UNDERSTANDING WITH OTHER PEOPLE THEN YOU BETTER TRY AND UNDERSTAND JUST HOW IMPORTANT HER WORK IS.
    I ALSO ASSUME THAT THIS ARTICLE DID NOT LESSEN MARINA’S FATIGUE IN ANY WAY, SO I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE HER ADVICE AND STAND UP FOR SOMETHING. PIRACY, ANTI-PIRACY, WHATEVER.

    -LOVE
    BEZDOMNY

    Reply
  7. Steve Newman

    Bahar seems to have some issues as we say. Best wishes to Marina in whatever you do.

    Reply
  8. TW Burger

    Fuck Germany is not constructive. Honest feeling but it won’t help get rid of that latent plump pride (rooted in romanticism) that started to reappear, openly, in the 1960s. Hopefully the events written in the article shows that the old Germanic mindset is finally changing. I suppose it starting with a bunch of awkward techno-anarchists is obvious in retrospect.

    And Bahar, I’m not sure if you need a history lesson, therapy, or a good bitch slapping but STFU.

    Reply
  9. Ghijath Naddaf

    Marina is a sweet and intelligent lady.
    But she really should leave the Pirates and change to another
    Party.
    Oh,and Fabian Wolff can go and Fuck himself.

    Reply

Leave a Reply