Jewish Cult Leader Turns a Profit

Of course, it’s gotta be the Jewish cult leader who figures out how to turns his wives into a profitable business. Goel Ratzon, 60, was busted in Israel yesterday for keeping at least 17 wives/slaves/babymakers. Police rescued the wives and "at least 40 children" from three of his apartments on Tuesday. (To make things even worse, it looks like there’s some overlap between those "wives" and daughters.)

In the tradition of Manson and Jim Jones, Ratzon kept his ladies under control with that tired-and-true combination of mind control and claims of divinity. "He is the Messiah everyone is talking about," one of his wives declared in an television documentary last year.

But unlike Jones (who was way out in Guyana) and Manson (isolated on Spahn ranch), Ratzon kept his gals in the big city of Tel Aviv. He even sent them out to work, scoring himself extra shekels by charging them for misbehaving, and therein lies his entreprenual genius.

For slavers and religious fanatics finding it hard to survive these tough economic times, there’s a complete list of Ratson’s savvy, profitable rules at the Times Online. In the meantime, we provided you with a teaser of a few below:

1) No women shall marry nor shall any woman attack another, either verbally or physically. Fine: 2,000 shekels (around $550)

2) No woman shall question another about her whereabouts. Fine: (around $25)

3) No conversation is permitted in rooms other than the living room. It is forbidden to talk nonsense. Fine: 200 shekels (around $50)

4) No woman shall sit idle when there are dishes to be washed, cleaning to be done, children to look after etc. Fine: 2,000 shekels (around $550)

5) Any two women caught fighting will be punished equally. Fine: 2,000 shekels (around $550)

What do you think?

About The Author

StevenM

Steven enjoys alliteration and quirky line drawings. His turn-offs include broken links, enriched uranium and Holocaust denial.

19 Responses

  1. snuffweedbooze

    I’m a dead ringer for this guy.
    So tell me…were the chicks he was hooked up with hot? Pictures. I want some pictures!

    Reply
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