Anne Frank CostumeIf you ever decide to go as Anne Frank to anything, for any reason (historical re-enactment? Costume party? Sexual fetish?) this is what you need to know:

She dressed like a normal 1930s girl in Germany. If you elect to do this, but you don’t have an Anne Frank face –like if you are blonde, corn-fed, or have healthy color in your cheeks– people will be complimenting you all night on your impeccable “‘30s person” costume.

I happen to have an Anne Frank face, not to mention the following qualities:

• Female
• Jewish
• Young(ish)
• Oversharer
• Uncomfortable in small quarters
• Attracted to ambivalent men

So for Halloween 2009, I cut a Star of David out of a yellow cereal box, wrote “Juden” on it, taped it to a blazer and carried a Moleskine notebook around even though my mom didn’t want me to.

Anne Frank with UN CostumeResponses ranged from “You’re, like, Jewish, right? If you weren’t, that would be bad” (from slutty cowgirl) to “Dude, look! You know who that is? With the diary! That’s so fucked up!” (from drunk guy dressed as a Blues Brother to his drunk friend dressed as the other Blues Brother on the subway).

But it’s cool, because despite everything I believed the cowgirl and the Blues Brothers were truly good at heart.

This year I’m going as Anne Frankenstein.

-Text by Anna Breslaw