Struggling to hang onto just a shred of Jewish support, the president has been on a “charm offensive” recently. Making calls, sending out minions and serving kosher meals to elderly Holocaust survivors — anything to keep out of that “Jimmy Carter zone.” Below: a quick timeline of the week so far, and what’s coming up.
Monday morning: Obama called Netanyahu about those sure-to-be-successful indirect peace talks. (“It’s just like playing Telephone at summer camp, only it leads to mutually assured destruction.”)
Monday night: Sent National Security Council director Dan Shapiro to smooth things out with the Anti-Defamation League. “We do not believe it [the Israeli/Palestinian conflict] would cause Iran to end its unacceptable pursuit of nuclear weapons . . . endangers the lives of U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq.” Translation: Everybody else totally does think that, so just remember who your goddamn friends are, okay? (Shapiro also took some time to seriously kiss ADL director Abe Foxman’s ass, even calling him “legendary.“)
Tuesday: Lunch with Elie Wiesel, whose open letter to Obama — published as a full-page ad in “The Wall Street Journal” added even more fuel to the fire. “Jerusalem is above politics,” wrote Wiesel, and statements like that always help peace talks. Lunch must have included some tasty matzoh ball soup because the “tension, I think, is gone,” said the author of “Night.”
Wednesday: U.S. envoy George Mitchell flew down to Israel to meet with Netanyahu.
Thursday: Mitchell to meet with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. And just imagine the hurt feelings if he’d dared met with Abbas before Netanyahu. Remember: Jews must come first.
Heeb‘s predictions for Friday: In a last-ditch effort to kill the “Obama hates Israel” meme, all Jewish leaders are invited to a last-minute White House Shabbat dinner where the president acknowledges, for the thousandth time, the unbreakable bond between Israel and the U.S. As Hillary prepares the candles, the president surprisingly offers to convert and announces daughter Malia’s plans to become a Bat Mitzvah when she turns 12 this July. Alas, without the promise of unopposed housing construction in East Jerusalem, most Jewish leaders remain unimpressed, except J-Street’s Jeremy Ben-Ami who wants to do the invitations.
Meanwhile, Abe Foxman remains dissatisfied and predicts Obama will lose some Jewish votes: “People are angry . . . Americans do not want peace shoved down the throats of the Israelis.”
Yup, nothing’s worse than force-fed peace. Good luck, Barack. There’s just no pleasing some people.