George R. R. Martin’s epic “A Song Of Fire And Ice” series is a meticulously crafted fantasy with its own history, invented language(s) and global geography. To read (or, if you’ve stolen your parents’/roommates’/roommate’s parents’ HBOGo password, to watch) Martin’s work is to submerge yourself into a holistic world populated by characters with exotic names like “Daenerys Targaryen” and “Khal Drogo” and… “Dave Goldblatt.”
Yes, for plopping down $20,000 in a charity auction, Facebook employe Dave Goldblatt will have the honor of being written – and subsequently killed – as a character in one of Martin’s upcoming “Song of Fire And Ice” books.
Goldblatt chose to be a “Valryian,” a people group famous for their indestructible steel, as his station in Martin’s literary universe.
When asked why he chose to be a “Valyrian,” Goldblatt said, “You read some piece of fiction and for whatever reason you think one particular character or race is cool – and for whatever reason, I thought the Valyrians were cool. I’m hoping in future books we get to see more of them.”
Even in a made-up fantasy world assimilation is a bitch.
Known for its grizzly violence, the series has excelled at inventing new and gruesome ways to dispatch characters important and inconsequential alike. While Martin hasn’t said how he’ll be dealing with Goldblatt specifically, my money is on some iteration of lactose poisoning or magically enhanced IBS.
Meanwhile the $20,000 Goldblatt donated will be given to the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary and The Food Depot of Santa Fe, with whom Martin had partnered.