Eight Films to Watch on Christmas

Most everyone remembers Scottie Schwartz in A Christmas Story and his whole tongue-stuck-to-the-frozen-telephone-pole-routine. Most everyone remembers Macauley Culkin in Home Alone uttering the proverbial punchline: "Keep the change you filthy animal." But you don’t have to be an optometrist to know Jews see Christmas through their own particular lenses. So ditch the usual holiday fodder and check out these Jew-centric pics this Christmas.

1. Everyone Says I Love You (Woody Allen)

Any Woody Allen film will pretty much do, but check out this underrated work of the late Allen–particularly the scene in which Allen and Goldie Hawn escape a snobbish Christmas charity event in Paris to create a sweet and romantic moment dancing along the Seine.

2. Wet Hot American Summer (David Wain)

Wet Hot is a post-modern Meatballs that embraces that delicate juxtaposition of nostalgic wit with toilet humor. Plus, KISS is on the soundtrack – Jewish boys who likely got further than first base at their own summer camps.

3. Eight Crazy Nights (Seth Kearsley and Adam Sandler)

Adam Sandler is consistent with his ridiculous to the point of borderline retarded humor. (Only this guy can get away with epilepsy jokes.) If you love the "manboy" shtick you’re loyal to him. Even if you’re not, who can help but sing along to the irresistibly catchy and infamous Hanukkah Song? And anything, we repeat anything, with Jon Lovitz is a tried and true classic.

4. Young Frankenstein (Mel Brooks)

Mel Brooks does historic parody best in musical format. (Peter Boyle as "The Creature" dancing to "Puttin’ on the Ritz" is priceless.) Sexual innuendo is played to the hilt with classic vocabulary to describe the Creature’s err, "enormous Schwanztucke" by the deliciously demure Madeleine Kahn. Young Frankenstein, in fact, is said to be Brooks’ favorite of all his movies. Best line: "It looks dangerous. You go first." Good advice always, especially when gift-giving.

5. Dirty Dancing (Emile Ardolino)

Summers in the Catskill Mountains and a nice middle-class Jewish girl with pretty face and a character nose beats A Charlie Brown Christmas in an underdog competition by a long shot. Jennifer Grey (daughter of legendary theatre actor Joel Grey) plays the daughter of a nice (again) Jewish doctor (Jerry Orbach). Frances Houseman otherwise known as "Baby" is gearing up for college and the Peace Corps only to give pause upon meeting the foxy Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze). Late 80s-style grinding and illegal abortion are without a doubt the perfect recipe for Yuletide Cheer.

6. When Harry Met Sally (Rob Reiner)

While the film’s epic scene is Sally’s (Meg Ryan) faked orgasm in Katz’s Deli, the real tour-de-force is the fight Harry (Billy Crystal) and Sally have at their best friends’ wedding. When Harry Met Sally is one of the last tolerably sappy movies of its genre. The perfectly acceptable sappy moment is when Harry catches Sally before she leaves round two of a New Year’s Eve party and professes his love to her. Consider a Reiner Retrospective with The Princess Bride, Sleepless in Seattle, Misery and A Few Good Men. Dude was Meathead Stivic in All in the Family and he was once married to Laverne.

7. Crossing Delancey (Joan Micklin Silver)

The conundrum for many a single Jewish girl in the city: The Sexy European Poet vs. The Blue-Collar Nice Jewish Pickle Guy. Isabelle (Amy Irving) finds herself in a love triangle and initially goes for the sophistication of Manhattan intelligentsia only to come to her Semitic senses to marry Steven Spielberg. A $100 million divorce settlement enables some seriously amazing gift giving.

8. Mermaids (Richard Benjamin)

Winona Ryder is blessed with teen angst as Charlotte, a Jewish kid humiliated by her wanton, flamboyant mother (Cher). She projects her issues through an obsession with Catholicism and becoming a nun, only to find herself also hot for former Sixteen Candles dreamboat Michael Schoeffling. The sacrilege of a drunk Charlotte doin it with Joe (Schoeffling) in the tower of a local convent is classic. It’s also Christina Ricci’s adorable and precocious film debut. And only Cher can make sliced and diced bagels and lox come off chic as canapés.

What do you think?