Chosen Comedy: Gary Gulman

Gary Gulman became instantly recognizable after two seasons on Last Comic Standing and his run on Dane Cook’s Tourgasm. Also, at 6’6″, he is a very tall Jew and easy to spot. Gluman tells about the glamorous life of a stand-up comic, including failed pilots, uncomfortable tour buses and a surprising lack of blowjobs.

When did you realize you wanted to do stand-up comedy?

1st grade? I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.

What was your first performance experience?

I was mostly doing bad impressions so the crowd was receptive, but in my eyes, I sucked for years. I had to bring three friends to go up. My first joke was a topical Michael Jordan joke. He had just retired for the first time. The silence was crushing, but I pressed on and got applause off a DeNiro impression. So sad, but I got enough positive feedback to hook me.

What was the Michael Jordan joke?

I can’t remember but it was in the style of a Letterman monologue. Joey Buttafuoco was mentioned.

What was your pre-comedy career?

I had a short but unsuccessful career as an auditor. I was let go for acting up at a client. ‘You were overheard to have said, "What are they gonna do? Fire me?"’ said the HR woman. After that, I sustained my comedy habit with jobs as a waiter, a Starbucks barista and a substitute teacher at my old high school.

How did you balance these high-powered careers and your comedy?

I would show up late to every job and sleep (when I was a teacher) in the teachers lounge. If not for comedy, I think I would still be living with my mother. There was no balance. I was a terrible employee. Not a bad sub, though. I still have former students come up to me after shows, and say they enjoyed having me . . . My last day as a day-job person was December 24th, 1998.

So how was 1999 for you?

Pretty stellar. Did the Montreal Comedy Festival. I got a development deal at Fox within six months, but the pilot wasn’t picked up, which was devastating. And I got spots on Leno and Letterman.

What was the pilot about?

It was about me and living at home with my mom in my mid-twenties and still hanging out with my friends from high school and having an older brother and he and his wife being relentless ball breakers. It was really mainstream but not a bad pilot.

How quickly did things change for you after Last Comic Standing?

Once it had been on for a few episodes, I was recognized everywhere I went. It was really intoxicating. I didn’t know that it was transient, so it was a bit of a letdown when less than six months later, I wasn’t an automatic sold out, but it was really fun.

What was the hardest part of that success?

Going back to being not so famous was hard, but the hardest part was dealing with the assholes on the internet–some nice antisemitism and schadenfreude. I’ve had to have my emails screened to avoid seeing commentary that would put me in the fetal position for the day.

What kind of antisemitic stuff would you see?

I was called an angry Jew for some reason. Stuff like that.

And what kind of schadenfreude?

A lot of people were rooting against me and said I was everything from stupid to untalented. It was awful.

You were on Dane Cook’s comedy tour. How did you meet?

MySpace. Yes, if you stalk him, he responds quite nicely . . .

What was life like on Tourgasm? How’s the glamourous life of a comic on tour?

I had to sleep in a coffin in the fetal position and was constantly sleep deprived and hungry, but we did have a lot of laughs. There wasn’t much carousing. We had to do the shows, sign autographs for two hours and then get on the bus to the next college. Not a single blowjob.

Check out more of Gary Gulman at www.garygulman.com.

Alex Goldberg is a writer of theater, TV and film. He lives in New York City. Visit him at www.alexgoldberg.net.

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