July 5th marks 25 years since the debut of what is perhaps the last great American sitcom. Seinfeld. While ostensibly a “show about nothing,” Seinfeld’s anarchic deconstruction of the tropes and characters we’d come to expect from a 22-minute bock was actually replete with “somethings,” – typically insignificant minutia, but somethings nonetheless.
Given the degree of Seinfeldian phrases and analogies that have entered into our everyday lives, it’s safe to say that Seinfeld has, at this point, become a part of Americana on-par with apple pie and baseball. So, if we accept Seinfeld into the pantheon of American cultural touchstones, we find it makes a fair amount of sense that the Brooklyn Cyclones minor league baseball team would host a “Salute To Seinfeld” night on to celebrate the show’s 25th anniversary.
Here’s how the team plans to celebrate on July 5th, as they play the Aberdeen IronBirds. From the Cyclones website:
- MCU Park will known as Vandelay Industries Park for one night only.
- Mailmen in uniform get to throw out a ceremonial first pitch (“Hello Newman!”)
- Anyone who has a business card indicating that they are in fact a “Latex Salesman” will also receive a free ticket to the game. If we call the number and it’s some apartment on the Upper West Side, you won’t qualify for the freebie.
- Fans can visit the information table for an “airing of grievances.”
- Closest to the pin / whale’s blow hole competition (“Is that a Titleist?”)
- The foul poles will be known as Festivus Poles.
- “Low-Talking” PA Announcer.
- Elaine Dancing Contest
- Everyone Runs the Bases Post-game…but anyone named Jerry gets a head start (Take that Duncan Meyer).
- Game of “Risk” on the Concourse
- Cereal eating contests
- Anyone named George Costanza will be allowed to join our radio broadcast as a color analyst for an inning
- Players in puffy shirts for batting practice.
The first 2,500 visitors to MCU Pa…er.. Vandelay Industries Park will receive a “Keith Hernandez ‘Magic Loogie’ bobble-head” which is, in and of itself, probably worth the price of admission.
Tickets to the game are already on sale, and I can only assume selling fast. For more information on the Brooklyn Cyclone’s “Salute To Seinfeld” night, call 718-37-BKLYN.