As you may have recently heard, we’re all standing at the brink of a global catastrophe. No, not astronomically high incidents of West Nile Virus. And no, not riots across the Muslim world over a film that could charitably be called “hot garbage”. No, we’re talking about the looming Bacon-Shortage.
That’s right – next year it will become nearly impossible to score a slab of that sweet sweet meat after this summers record-setting droughts interrupted whatever farming cycle it is that leads to bacon (let’s face it, we’re not exactly experts here). And, while it would be easy for Jews to sit back and watch the bacon-starved hoards ravage deli counters across the globe, the truth is our bemusement would be but short lived. After all, it was German theologan Friedrich Gustav Emil Martin Niemöller who first penned those immortal words:
First they came for the bacon,
but I didn’t speak out, because I only eat chopped liver.
Niemöller notwithstanding, for those of you so inclined to taste the forbidden fruit (er…pig) – time is running out. You’d better start bringing home the bacon, while supplies last.